Advice, Annoyed, Answers, Beauty, Blog, Blogger, Bully, Business, Career, Character, Children, Clean, Clouds, Condition, Connection, Dating, Debate, Define, Devices, Disease, Drama, Emotion, Faith, Feelings, Flat, Health, Heart, Help, Hope, Image, Internet, Issues, Jealousy, Journalism, KIds, Learn, Longevity, Love, Make up, Marriage, Media, Memory, Mental health, Nature, Neurological, Neurology, Opinion, Pandemic, Partner, Plan, Problems, Protect, Question, Relationship, Religion, Review, Safety, Science, Search, Secret, Smile, Social media, Society, Soul, Story, Structure, Truth, Uncategorized, Views, Virus

Living a Life of Regrets

by Antonia

Many, if not all of us will have some sort of regret. Minor or major, it’s something you wish time could turn back for, just for that one moment you could do differently. But, do regrets hold you back or urge you to proceed forward?

The walls in my house are very similar to paper, so you can literally hear a pin drop from another bedroom, and you think you have an invader in your home! So you can understand that when someone’s having a conversation, if it’s on the phone or whatnot, you can read between the lines, and fill in the gaps. I’m a master of that! So after overhearing and minding my own business, my mother was itching to have a conversation with myself, about how her mother, so my grandmother, keeps on bringing up “ancient” topics and reliving the past repeatedly…

What seems to affect my grandmother the most, is that she has dire regrets, and she can’t try and amend them as her parents are no longer with us. Simply, she wishes she told her father certain things that happened to her brother, so she told her mother at the time (would’ve been my great grandmother), but was advised strongly not to tell him. So it was not spoken of again. But now, she feels like everyone must know about the story, even if that means tarnishing other peoples fond memories about someone, even though they may already know. Simply, she wants everyone to feel her pain. And this is something that is haunting my grandmother more than ever. Why? I can only assume it’s because she feels like this is her last chance; it makes you wonder.

Do regrets hold you back? Almost all of us would’ve regretted something in our lifetime, and on many occasions we say “if only we could turn back time,” but is that a progressive way of thinking?

In a way, we’re bound to have regrets. If it’s about what career we should’ve chosen, what house to buy, or even something that may seem menial like a pair of shoes. But if we keep going down that road of “What if,” and “I should’ve..” you’ll find that it can apply to anything. This is when the snowball effect comes into action.

When will the feeling of regret not take over you? Would we set ourselves boundaries mentally about what things we won’t allow to torture us? No, as we are incapable of knowing what things to regret and what things to let go off, as they all begin to emerge under the same umbrella. Does regret ever do us good?

I think yes, it can urge us to know what opportunities we should’ve taken up, so we know how to accommodate for a future generation that you may bring into the world, or how to better handle a situation in the future. But even for those reasons, it can easily get toxic, us feeling like we know how the future should be planned out, as a personal regret can affect our panoramic judgement. Imagine, feeling like you’ve lived life and if you had a second chance at life, you’d know exactly what to do. But that’s unrealistic and upsets the complexity of the journey we call – life.

I think regrets can weigh heavily on our mind, and can almost feel like we’re carrying a substantial weight on our shoulders throughout the rest of our lives. But when do you say no to regrets? How can you stop yourself from feeling this way in the future, or maybe you already feel regretful, as if it’s you I’m writing this about.

Regrets can be a burden and the feelings can intensify with time. Especially, in an unprecedented period like now where everybody is living in isolation. But how does one completely abolish this feeling that one is almost bound to get, and for some can destroy and distort their view of the world?

Lastly, let me ask you this. If a world renowned health organisation were offering a drug, to completely wipe out regrets from the human mind, as who knows, maybe it’s a chemical imbalance that causes this feeling, would you accept the drug?

So what place does ‘regret’ have in your life? What effects do you think regret’s have? Would you accept a manmade cure? Comment below!

53 thoughts on “Living a Life of Regrets”

  1. This was so powerful because regret torments. Regret steals our peace and joy. There is a cure and it’s God, we are to cast our cares on Him, when we do that He can give us a peace that surpasses all understanding. Taking our hurts and regrets to God will bring an inner healing. This was a wonderful post! I pray that no one will walk in regret, but walk in forgiveness,healing, and a love that only our loving Father can give. Kingdom Blessings be unto you💕

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thankyouu and this is a wonderful way to look at it!
      Positive thinking and faith can do the world of good for many😃
      Thankyouu for sharing Kaylynn😁

      Like

      Reply

  2. A very thoughtful post for a young person, not that I don’t think young people don’t think. Usually thoughts such as this are on the sidelines, but it is so important to ask questions.

    Regret is difficult to deal with, because it destroys the present and taints the future.

    Regret comes from not understanding ourselves and placing unrealistic demands on ourselves. Ask the right questions of your inner self and the answer will come. It may not come from where you think or when you think, but the answer will come.

    Keep writing girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thankyouu so much, glad you’ve enjoyed this post!
      And yes, your inner self has so much to answer for, it can unravel the key to the lock that’s been captured mentally.
      Thankyouu again!😃

      Like

      Reply

  3. Oh golly! Ok so your timing here is excellent for me! Yes, I have regrets. I have regrets and for a while they consumed me, made me ill. Because in many ways I was still making those mistakes which I was regretting. I then read somewhere something about the fact that there’s nothing you can do to change the past (obviously) but you can make changes and control what action you take for the future. So this is what I’m doing. I’m getting there. I can’t undo what has happened, but I can now give my kids the security and love that for a while I think I wasn’t able to give them … and if my husband doesn’t like that, then frankly I don’t give a stuff! Thanks for the excellent read. Katie 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You know what they say, great minds think alike!😃
      Ohh no, regrets can sometimes be such a dangerous thing and can hold back our lives for many many years unless we try and let go of experiences or times we can’t change.
      I’m so happy that you reached the point of realisation, so that you could rectify your outlook for your future.
      Definitely, it’s never too late, and it’s amazing you’ve reached that point of changing habits, as some people never get to that point.
      For sure! Your mental health is paramount, and can do wonders for your loved ones around you.
      Aww no, thankyouu! And for sharing such an insight and demonstrating that there is light at the end of the tunnel!🤗😁

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Aw what lovely things to say. Thank you. Have a lovely day today … it’s a bit cloudy in Manhattan but still very bright and there’s no rain which is good. Today I am experimenting again on the food front and making a Tandoori Chicken! Oh the ways we keep ourselves busy!! X

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It was delicious! Absolutely scrumptious but oooch it had quite a kick to it! Full of flavour but the more I ate, the more cucumber raita and rice I had to keep eating … in the end I simply couldn’t feel my mouth! I was burnt! Husband however said it was the best curry he’d had since living in Pakistan for a year! I think we have different tolerances! If I can work out how to copy the recipe I will, but my computer skills are limited … 😖. Katie x

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oooh it sounds like a hit! Okay now Katie, I’ll be looking for your recipe book!😂👀 I love a good curry, and what’s a curry without being completely hit in the face with heat?
        I think your husband would’ve had your plate too.😂
        I’m in the same boat my computer skills aren’t legendary but I’ll keep lookout on your blog👀.
        Antonia😋x

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Antonia !
    I agree with Kaylynn.
    Regret steals our joy.
    We are frail humans, and all make some mistakes.
    However, I choose not to focus on ‘what if’, and instead focus on ‘what is’
    And, ‘what is’ that God loves us unconditionally, and he offers us peace as we trust Him and live in accordance to his will. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Exactly, I personally don’t see the point in thinking about the past so much, you’re almost trying to change it. And you can never change the past but if you want to go forward having learnt from your regret, that’s the most beneficial way.🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. This was really a nice perception of seeing the mistakes and regret in a positive way. I will also take regret as our lesson and opportunity to do not revise the same and will feel more confident about myself.
    So, taking regression as saviour not as killer will be beneficial for life.
    What happens just happens for good.
    We should believe in ourself.
    🏵️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thankyouu! And literally I agree with everything you’ve said. We can turn a negative into positive, but only if you allow your mind to do that. Totally, we must believe in ourselves, as we can’t expect anyone else to do so!🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. That’s such a great way to flip what’s happened, so that you’ve learnt from it and know what to do in the future. Regrets should be lessons, not something haunting you for the rest of your life, as nothing good ever comes out of that.🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. I would never take anything for something that is as natural as breathing. And the only reason we breath regret is because of our fears. They hold us in a pattern of response in many different ways but they affect our thoughts on how we perceive something so we will focus on them. They hold great purpose in our journey.
    Find the truth in those fears, be game and face those things that really upset us. And it is not an easy thing to do as we have had a lifetime of blocking so we don’t see them anymore, but it is in there our answer lives. Find that common denominator in all of our relationships that upset us and there is where you must go. And when you finally ‘see’ why you have held it, it will set you free in its understanding.
    Fears lose their power over us in that understanding, and we finally let them go…all of it…and all those things that upset us, bind us in certain reactions are finally let go into a place that has no regrets simply because we now understand why we held them and can now see that it no longer holds any purpose.
    And for the first time in our lives we will touch something we have ever searched for…that love and happiness that had been gently waiting within for us to look for, behind those very fears that had held up a wall to block it. A wall of those negativities we think towards ourselves, those thoughts of and how we feel towards ourselves of ‘I can’t do this, I’m not good enough’ etc, etc. Understand those fears and it will set you free. Your grandmother, parents, you just have to face those inner fears we all hold and in their understanding it will set you all free…totally, utterly free 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. 100%. You’ll find peace when you look into why you’re feeling those regrets, then when you know the reasons, you can try and overcome them. We also must be open to moving on, as if you aren’t you’ll never get passed what’s happened. And it’s like you’re running in circles.
      Thankyouu for such words of wisdom, Mark!😃

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. Regret is interesting because it presupposes that our current situation would be better, had we chosen differently in the past. My formative years as a teenager and young adult were riddled with very poor choices; mistakes really. However, I look back on my past and see nothing but a guiding hand there with me.

    Everything I have experienced has brought me to the place I am today, and for that, I am grateful because things could be a lot worse. I think we should have a daily practice where we allow ourselves to “soak” in the gratitude of being brilliant children of God, knowing that His love is always with us, through thick and thin.

    God Bless you.

    AUM

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Exactly! We’re bound to have regrets here and there, but it’s how we deal with them that determines our outlook on the future.
      Such great advice!
      Thankyouu, Ryan!😃

      Like

      Reply

  9. No I wouldn’t accept any drug I have enough regrets I’m sure everyone does but I finally accepted myself for what and who I am luv and am embarrassing it and am so very happy hon 💁🏻‍♀️❣️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. I think Winnie the Pooh said it best: ‘I very often get to where I’m going by walking away from where I’ve been’.
    Regret is useful if it gives us the resolve to live life better in the future.
    If it just makes us wallow uselessly in misery? Ozzy Osbourne said it best: ‘Regret’s a load of bollocks, man’.
    Regret is what you make of it. At least, that’s how I see it… and yeah, I’ve been known to be wrong before. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oooh that’s a wonderful quote! Winnie the Pooh always knows best!😃
      For sure, regrets have its strengths, aka what you make of them moving forward, but the negatives are when we just keep on looking back and are unable to move forward without those looming over us.
      Thankyouu for this and your quotes! So insightful!😃

      Like

      Reply

  13. Ah, Antonia, regrets fill al lives. Fortunately, the vast majority of them are minor, even trivial, such as wishing we had purchased two of a certain item when we were at the store (I know, a pre-virus regret, but bear with me..). From there, all the way up to the gnawing, but blessedly much rarer, agony over wishing we had acted differently to someone who now is gone.

    Point is, we all have regrets-a-plenty. That’s inevitable. What isn’t inevitable, though, is letting them go to waste. We can ruminate over them and let them weigh heavily on our present relationships. Frustrate ourselves to distraction wishing for the impossible, if only we just could go back in time. Or…

    Or, we could profit from past mistakes, and take actions that will keep the bad thing, whatever it was, from happening again. Instead of letting that one regret fester, and generate countless others, Head it off at the pass. One per customer, buster. You fooled me once, Regret. Did you really think I was going to let you do it again?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Exactly, it’s almost like we torture ourselves when we can’t change the past, but maybe you can learn from certain regrets for future decision making.
      Hahaha, one per customer fooled many!😂😂

      Like

      Reply

  16. Well said 👏, plus I wouldn’t accept any drug that would banish regret cause in as much as it would seem nice, it would totally destroy seriousness of life cause what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, wonderful article by the way 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. 100%. How are you meant to learn if there were no such thing as mistakes? Your past experiences help shape the kind of person you are today, so if you had a tablet to erase all regrets you may have, it’s a scary thought. Plus you might find that you’d be an entirely different person. It’s all apart of life!😃

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  18. We mustn’t let regrets debilitate us. People often say, “If only I could live my life all over again as to avoid making the same mistakes.” But the truth is, we can’t go through life without making mistakes and having regrets. If we had the chance to relive our life, we might not make the same mistakes, but we’ll certainly make other mistakes which could be even greater than the original ones. And, in this case, we might regret having lived our life over again.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Exactly. Without mistakes, what lessons would we learn? Life might not be as you know it and may even be worse. Mistakes are there to learn from, not to torture us by keeping our development stagnant, unable to move forward.🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  20. Thank you for sharing such a thought-provoking post

    Wouldn’t the world be such a horrible place if we had no regrets? Everybody would do exactly what they feel like and not care about anybody else. We learn from our mistakes. If our parents had not given us both guidance and freedom to explore the world and make mistakes, we would never know how to be in society. But we will continue to make mistakes and that will help us adjust our behaviour to suit the ever-changing situations in life.

    It is a matter of getting it in balance. Too much regret and you never do anything; too little and you are a liability. ‘What if’ can help you make decisions. ‘If only’ must be discarded. You need to learn from your mistakes and move on. You will still be you, but wiser and more resilient. So be kind to yourself and just say, I learnt from that.

    Could you help your grandma by listening to her story? Maybe she did the right thing. Maybe there was no right thing. Maybe you could help her be more compassionate and understanding to herself and find peace. That would be such a gift.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thankyouu for such an insightful view and I couldn’t agree more. Regret can urge you forward but also, too much regret can hold you back, so it’s about finding the right amount so it doesn’t take over your life/emotions/decision making.
      I will definitely listen to her story if she’s looking to bend someones ear😃.
      Thankyouu Nick, and so glad you enjoyed reading this post!😁😊

      Like

      Reply

  21. I try to live without regret. I feel it would change the course of my life. Of course there are things I wish I hadn’t done, or said but I try to learn from them, because I’m afraid if I had a chance to rewrite my history without that act that caused regret, my life wouldn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. I have some major things I regret, but I try to look for the positive, look for the lesson. It’s not easy because at times I’m sick to my stomach thinking, why did I do that…but when time passes and things settle down, I try to forgive myself and move on.

    Like

    Reply

  22. With your presumed permission I used part of your text for my Magnum Opus, HOPE. Discarding all our past, and believe me of all the people all there Pasts, we came to a new daring world 😊😊

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.