We’re asked this on a daily basis. As if your job is your identity. Middle name even. But really, what were we brought on this earth for?
I personally find this quite a judgmental question. Especially in the early stages of meeting someone. It’s usually the second question they ask you. And within the millisecond of you answering it, you instantly see their expression change. It’s the constant looking to please someone. Validate yourself. But why are we even letting someone judge what we do?
Theres so much emphasis put on what you’re going to do and how much you’re going to earn that its a never ending cycle of pressure. You sometimes wonder if people were brought up to be more focused on being wholesome people, learning what makes them happy, then finding what jobs are in that market, that maybe they’re wouldn’t be so many people looking to find happiness in unconventional ways. A huge surge of people are going though depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders. The rising numbers of people on anti depressants. Suicide is the most common cause of death for men aged 20-49 years in England and Wales, and it makes you think, why?
There’s so much pressure on men to hold down a decent job, find a partner, buy a house, get married, kids. But if they can’t hold down work, they think they can’t carry out all the other steps expected in life. I clearly can’t speak for all men but the male figures I’ve had in my life hardly/never speak about their emotions. They have this bravado so much of the time. I’ve even heard one say ‘I can’t speak to my male friends about emotions, how I’m feeling or if I’m going through something. It’s just not done, not accepted’. That has to change. Everyone should have at least one person they can confide in. If you can overcome the stigma, you’re stronger than you thought. Imagine if someone’s going through tough times in their life, and person after person keeps asking as soon as they meet you, what do you do? Even doctors do it. There is literally no way of avoiding the question.
The same goes for women but in a different way. Women are expected to be a man and woman in one. Work and do the household responsibilities. Nowadays, society and some men expect you to hold down a job, good enough to split everything 50 50. Like household expenses, rent/mortgage, car, maintenance. Make breakfast for both of you, go to work, shop, come back and make dinner. And everything in between. It’s like you’re working a 24 hour job all the time. It’s a lot for women and too much for some. These 21st century expectations to work AND ‘keep the household clean’. Is it so bad that some women want to work and not have the majority of household responsibilities? Of course not. And the same vice versa. Some women like being more traditional, and rather look after the household/kids and have that as their full time job. Is that wrong? No. There is no right or wrong. It’s what fits YOU. And what you’d rather want to do. There are some superwomen out there, who are single mothers and hold down a job, and they’re admirable. Inspirational even. But I do find society makes some females feel bad/lazy for being more traditional or housewives. Or even when we go back to work soon after maternity leave, you get the stigma of being absent through your child’s early stages. And I think that is so wrong. Who are you to tell someone what to do? We as women go through so much in life so the very least we can, and should have is the option in how we want to live our lives. With no predjudice.
There’s too much focus on what you do. Work. They never want you to come off that hamster wheel. And when you thoroughly think about it, it’s to keep the ‘class system’ and to make people work until they’re almost lifeless. England has risen its pension age, so elderly people have to work until an even older age than some of them want, and who does that benefit? The government, the state.
What makes you truly happy? Forget about the expectations they enthral within us from a very early age. There’s so much beauty to the world we’re in. So many experiences, most of us will never have the opportunity to fulfil. And if we let the power of people among us, completely control what we do with our lives, we will never see the beauty that life luckily offers us. Life is short, and you only realise that when it’s too late.
Comment below what you think your purpose is in life!