Gender Identity – When’s The Right Age?

The age as to when you can alter your gender is getting younger and younger. Is that a blessing or dangerous?

People, more and more are feeling like they’re born in the wrong body. From a young age, you can now start hormone drugs to begin the extensive road to transitioning. But how can you know for sure what gender you want to be? And what signs will now be classified as an identity crisis?

At school, teachers always write reports on the children that are in their care. A teachers report card can be essential as to certain signs they’ve noticed about your child. If they spot signs of what they think could be a learning disability, or even a child displaying signs that they feel like they’re not in the correct body. Could this be helpful, or detrimental?

When I was 5-6 in class, whenever they used to say, “Boys on one side of the class, girls on the other,” I felt completely lost. Like I didn’t know the answer, to what should be the most simple question.

Everyone else around me would know exactly which group to go in, but I was very perplexed. I did not physically or mentally know where or how to be classified. So in the end, I had to ask the teacher which group to go in as I didn’t know which group I fit into. A girl or a boy.

Now, obviously I imagine the teacher would’ve viewed that as quite strange. But I also don’t believe she would’ve thought I was going through a gender identity crisis, as such terms weren’t readily reported or talked about back then. Gender identification wasn’t really a well known thing in the early-mid 2000’s like it is now.

That worked in my favour. As even though I was a tomboy in certain instances like I loved playing with bob the builder (if you know who that is, you’re a cool kid), I was also very girly.

Bob the Builder

So how much can you read into what a child says? Or what signs they display?

Young people wanting to go through a transition are happier than ever that in some areas of the world they can begin the transitioning process relatively early, much younger than the age of 16. But also on the other hand, some adults above age, who have transitioned, are furious at the health system for allowing them to transition without enough therapy (in their eyes) as they regret altering their sex. You get quite intrusive therapy before altering your gender but some are even suing the health services. As once you transition, it’s very hard to impossible to go back to the body and gender you once had.

So when is the right age?

I think in my own personal opinion it should be around 18 years old. You’re not allowed to have breast augmentations and such surgeries until you reach the age of consent, which varies in the country you’re in. If you can’t even have a breast augmentation until you’re a certain age, why should such a life altering process of transitioning sex, be different?

On the other hand, some children contemplate suicide as they’re so unhappy that they can’t live their life in the body they believe they should’ve been born with. But the grey area is, how will you know for sure as a parent, the child won’t grow up to regret it?

It’s a very difficult call. But in my case, I’m grateful that my bewilderment wasn’t looked into further. As I know wholeheartedly, I wouldn’t have wanted to be a boy. Plus, I think the terminology ‘gender identity crisis’ would’ve made me even more confused, as I never felt like I wanted to be a different gender. And I’m also thankful that my confusions towards what gender I’m classified as wasn’t handled as a gender identity crisis.

But the worrying thing, is that I think if I attended school right now as a 5-6 year old, showing these same ‘signs’, I may have been put in that category. A category that wasn’t fit for my case. I think I was just simply confused and didn’t know! I know reading this you must be thinking, how very strange that I didn’t know! Trust me I think the same thing! But I can’t say what was going through my puzzled mind!

I think labels have their pros and cons. The issue with labelling especially in this sense, is that it can hinder the child’s natural progression into whichever gender they feel like they are, and can risk confusing the child even more, so much so they could even read too much into maybe I’m not in the wrong body, when they don’t truly know what that means yet. A child’s mind is very malleable – it’s always compared to as sponge as it can soak up more information than an adult in many ways. So planting that seed with a label, could be beneficial, but could also be very detrimental in the child’s life going forward.

What do you think? Do you think the age of transitioning being lowered in some countries is a step forwards or backwards? If you had a child like me who displayed that sign, how much would you have read into it? In 2020, how do you think this confusion would’ve been handled compared to 2005? When do you think is the right age to even think about such a huge life changing change like transitioning? Do you think labels should be used in children? Comment below!

16 thoughts on “Gender Identity – When’s The Right Age?

  1. My view is… the only one who will truly ever know is the child. A parents duty is to protect teach and prepare them to be an adult. To interfere prior to being an adult is to presume you completely understand what your child is feeling. Trust me… it’s difficult enough to raise children through the teen years to young adulthood without planting that seed of doubt in their minds. Just a simple outlook from a simple man. Very Interesting subject though…

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Definitely! I think that’s the best and most organic way. All a child needs is support, then whatever happens, take it from there. Thankyouu for reading and glad you enjoyed this post!😃😊


  2. I think it definitely depends on the person because everyone is different but I knew who and what I wanted to be at the age of 8 and had to live a false life until now I was always more feminine than I was masculine and it took until about 4 years ago until I had the courage and support to finally be me and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life hon!!!! But the only one who knows is the individual and I agree with you on some points cause there’s no going back but it’s truly hell being not who you’re supposed to be and believe me I know cause I was there xox… 👩🏻StacyAnne

    Liked by 3 people

    1. 100%, it depends on the person. And it should develop organically, without many outside eyes looking in, or trying to sway you one way or another. Support is the only set of eyes anyone needs!

      I’m so happy to hear that! Living your truth must be a feeling like no other. True freedom and happiness for you!

      Thankyouu so much StacyAnne for sharing such an incredible insight!😃😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was a Tom boy as a child, shirtless, dirt bikes, tonka trucks! In my teens and young adult I had a shaved head, wore guys Levi’s, big hands and deeper voice. I also had no hips or breasts…but I’ve always loved males and never felt I wanted to be a man. If we had today’s standards I guarantee my mother would have directed me in to becoming a boy and who knows what that would have done to my psychological health. So I think we need to let the children lead, but remain neutral until at least puberty. A lot changes during that time and things get confusing enough.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I completely agree! I don’t think elders around us, should read too much into what kind of things we like, and how we like to dress/present ourselves. We all go through phases, and for some people it isn’t a “phase” understandably. But also it’d be dangerous and detrimental to ones life, if they’re encouraged to make a decision, which they might not fully know the consequences as to what that might mean in the future, especially if they regret it.
      Thankyouu for sharing your insight!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I sooooo very much enjoy chatting with you and reading your posts they’re very inspirational,helpful and down to earth and you’re so gorgeous Antonia when I’m 💯 complete if I look 👀 half as good as you do I will be very grateful ❣️And I don’t mind sharing what I went through or am going through when the topic comes up like right now going through acne again basically puberty all over again OMG 🙄!!! And being a woman is hard work but I have my routines and hopefully someday everything just clicks and it’ll be just normal lol ❣️ I’m still scared 😱 about a lot of things like therapy after my (SRS),sex will I know what to do or do it right 🙄 I finally have all the pieces to my puzzle and soon it will be complete and I’m so grateful for that because like I said I’m soooooo very happy but a lot of it’s because of all the support ,love 💕 and understanding that I’ve received luv and I’m so grateful for that too❣️Your friend SacyAnne xox

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Aww thankyouu so much you’re too kind!
      I had bad acne last year and the beginning of this year, but finally my skin is back to normal, even though I’m making sure it doesn’t come back!
      I’ve already started writing about acne!👀
      It’ll be a few posts though, as acne is such a long topic!😂
      Aww no, I hope your acne is a distant memory soon, acne sucks!
      Aww this made me smile! I’m so glad you’ve found a place where you can be open and talk!🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My acne definitely sucks!!!! Hopefully my hormones start to plain out gf omg!!!!! But like I said I’ve been lucky 🍀 with everything else I really thought I would lose a lot of friends and family in my life but totally not and totally the opposite I’ve always had more gf’s vs guy friends and a lot of older female cousins and when I told everyone what I wanted and what I was doing to be me and be happy most of them said I can’t believe it took you so long to finally be you and have been so absolutely awesome with helping me with makeup 💄 and fashion it’s just like omg!!! The only one that still has an issue is my mother and I just flat out said you have another daughter like it or not and that’s that I’m totally happy and you should be happy for me but idk if she will come around more than she has sometimes she makes me feel soooooo uncomfortable ……. but I’ll get through it and deal with everything cause everything’s new and an amazing adventure that I’m so loving 👯‍♀️👩‍❤️‍👩❣️StacyAnne

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hopefully your mother does come round🙏.But even if she doesn’t, it sounds like you have an amazing support system around you!💓
      I’m sure everything will be worth it soon, even the little hiccups that may have presented themselves along the way💓


      1. I’m just dealing with so many things acne ,makeup ,electrolysis, hormone meds,(SRS) and the (therapy)that follows (SRS)I’m kinda freaking out!!! I’m kinda just coming around to the fact if she doesn’t her loss cause soon I’ll have an innie not an outtie and I’m scared but excited luv ❣️Thanks for your support hon StacyAnne 👩🏻❣️


  6. This is very insightful. Thank you for sharing your experience. I think it is very wise not to apply labels. Finding one’s true self is a difficult enough task and one that it just beginning to unfold in these early years.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I completely agree! You can’t categorise everything in life, or else sometimes people are wrongly labelled. And that can be even trickier to change.

      Thankyouu so much for sharing your insight!🤗💓

      Liked by 1 person

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