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Sleepovers: Are You For Them Or Against ?

by Antonia

Many of us have wanted to experience a sleepover at some point. If it’s a girly night or a boy night, the thought of being somewhere with your friends, out of school and not having too many rules seems so enticing! But do you approve of sleepovers or not?

Sleepovers are portrayed quite a lot especially in films and tv shows. It always seems like a great fun time. You can stay up with your friends and talk about anything and everything without having a time limit on when you’re going home. Now, my mother was never keen on sleepovers and never encouraged them. One thing for sure, is that she said she won’t be responsible for anyone else’s children, so sleepovers were never gonna be held at her house. Full stop.

I was about 10/11 years old at the time and I wasn’t too keen on sleepovers either. Just never had a desire for them. I was quite shy at school, unless I was around my two best friends. Then I’d really open up to them, like I was a different person. Once you get to know me and my barriers come down, I’m a chatterbox! So when one of my best friends invited me for a sleepover at her house along with our other best friend and one or two others I was a bit taken back. The thought of it was appealing in a way but also this would’ve been my first ever sleepover, so I was a bit confused. I already knew my mother’s not for it but I went ahead with it anyway. I didn’t wanna be the odd one out of the group, you know?

Mum dropped me off everything was fine and fun then, when daylight turned into dusk, we all showered and changed into our pyjamas. Now that’s when it went downhill. Everyone privately changed into there’s pyjamas in the same room as each other. But I tried to cover myself up whilst doing it. Then when I finally changed into mine along with everyone else, they started laughing at me. Each and everyone of them. I was surprised and embarrassed, by the friends who weren’t my closest, but I was even more horrified that my best friends were pointing fingers at me and laughing. I couldn’t understand, So I kind of stuttered, “what’s wrong? why are you laughing at me?”. And they say “it’s because you’re wearing underwear under your pyjamas. That’s not normal!” I quickly gathered my thoughts and shyly replied “yes it is”. They reply laughing “No it isn’t! We all just wear our pyjamas that’s the normal thing to do”.

I remember wanting to go home there and then, since my house was just a few streets away. I just wanted my mother to collect me and be as far away from here as possible. I was horrified. It left a mental scar on me. Seeing my own best friends bullying me, along with one or two others, laughing, pointing fingers at me and picking on me. At a sleepover. Making me feel like the odd one out. They made it pretty clear. I felt powerless, I was in her home. Her parents would defend her and they just weren’t on option for me to open up to. I remember sleeping there, curled up still trying to absorb what just happened. I cried myself to sleep silently when the lights were out. And since then I never had a sleepover after that experience. I had no desire to.

But it’s made me think. Hopefully, if I have children, would I allow them to sleepover by their friends? And unfortunately, the answer would be no. Since my experience, I just would never want them going through that. I wouldn’t be putting my bad experiences on them, but so much can happen when you leave your child in someones hands. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. As soon as you leave them alone in another persons hands they become fully their responsibility. Once your child walks through their door entrance, you have completely no power or control. I’ve read and educated myself on all the good and bad things that happen in this world, and some of the bad are so horrific and gruesome, it cannot be verbally repeated. If unimaginable, indescribable and sickening things, sometimes happen in their own families, how can you ever entirely trust someone with your child? You’d give your life for your child, but would they?

What do you think? Do you approve of sleepovers? Comment your thoughts below!

43 thoughts on “Sleepovers: Are You For Them Or Against ?”

  2. I agree with the last comment. Community isn’t as strong as it used to be, so even knowing your neighbors very well is much harder now. For family and cousins, it’s much easier.

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  4. Hi，antonia
    Get to know your children’s parents first.
    There are also many difficult things but You will be able to use your experiences and interact with the children!

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  6. Hi, Antonia!
    Interesting post, and I’d never thought much about sleep overs in a long time. When I was a kid, we all had them, and had lots of fun. I did have one at my house, too, when I was in 6th grade. My girls also went to sleep overs, and hosted a few at our house.
    These days, though, I’d think twice, and definitely have to know the parents. 🙂

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  7. Antonia,

    If you asked me such a question 50 years ago, I would not think anything about and happily say yes. These days, I’m not quick on giving such an answer. People are very different today than yesterday. We made fun of each other as kids but we had a certain respect for those who weren’t in our click and never intentionally tried to make someone feel uncomfortable. I sure it happened, though. I have to agree with some of your responders, you should know your kids’ parents and hopefully most of the other children’s parents, too. This may tell you if it’s a good environment for your child or not. While you can’t always guard your child against every bad incident, the best thing you can do is to teach them how peers are often not so nice especially when they are in social gatherings and for them not for intimidated or bullied by it. It’s important for them to stand against it without being confrontational but a matter of factish to extinguish the ridicule instead of making it worse. Does that make sense? I have always just shrugged my shoulders no matter if someone laughed at me and often times I laughed back. I never took anything personally and did my best to not let anything hurt my feelings. I’d like to think the same approach would work today but I think if I were 10-years-old now that I’d be the same way as I was then. To put your mind at ease, I always wore underwear beneath my PJs, to do otherwise seems weird to me. 😉

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  8. What country are you from? I never, ever heard of it being “normal” for little girls to go commando under their pajamas. Where I’m from, most ten-year-old girls would think that wearing no underwear is gross.

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  9. I never did a sleep over as a young boy. I had some troubles that made me not want to. As far as letting my kids do sleep overs. They did… But they were always told they could call at anytime and I would come and bring them home no questions or trying to convince them to stay. If I did get them and I did a few times. We always discussed the issue the next day. They never seemed to have any trouble accepting another invite to go. It really comes down to your own family and what you feel towards them. If you are comfortable with the the kids would probably be also and just the opposite. You do need to know the parents very well though these days. Otherwise definitely NO WAY. Good Subject!

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    1. That’s so interesting, and that’s amazing they had such good experiences! Yes for sure parents have a lot to do with it, but I guess sometimes they won’t easily believe what someone else says about their ‘never do wrong’ child. Thankfully not everyone’s the same! Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

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  10. What a terrible thing. Im sorry. I was never home as a kid personally. But with 2 daughters, my oldest has just started asking. I think I would be okay having friends at my home, but not comfortable the other way around. Overall? I’m not ready for any of it!

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    1. I get you preferring having sleepovers in your home rather than someone else’s. Everything’s under your control and you can keep an eye on things! Thankyouu for reading and commenting!😊

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  11. In my life anyway sleep overs were the best and always something to look forward to. It sort of feels like you’re projecting your fears onto your children when they could have a totally different experience to you, who knows. I feel a proper check of the other child’s parent is adequate, but if they say they want to go I feel you should let them experience it for themselves and let them make their minds up about it

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    1. It’s great that you had the best experience. You can properly check but there’s only so much you can do beforehand. Children don’t always know what’s best for them, they ask for many things!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

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  12. I’m sorry to hear what happened to you. Who would expect this from their friends?! Kids can be so cruel.

    I’ve never had a sleepover, and I don’t have kids, so I’ve never thought about it. But my opinion is… you’d have to know all the other kids AND the parents well, so you know there aren’t any bullies or other nasty characters around your kid.

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    1. Yes I agree. You have to be very careful where you leave your child but I don’t think you can ever be 100% sure. Who knows?
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

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  13. We didn’t have sleepovers at my house growing up. Maybe it was because we had our cousins living upstairs from us. Anyways, I would prefer having the kids come over my home. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having them go to someone else’s home. Unfortunately. Enjoyed the conversations here. ~ Bernice

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    1. I get that. It’s more in your control and you can keep an eye on things when it’s under your roof. Glad you enjoyed the post! Thankyouu for reading and commenting!😊

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  15. I think that if I have kids, I’d make sure they know how to be respectful and are really close friends with the host, but I wasn’t allowed sleepovers until I was about eight, and I think the fact that I was missing out on loads of parties upset me (I was a very dramatic seven/eight year old).

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  16. We allow them sometimes. But when we do, the child rarely enjoys it, and they never sleep well (if at all). The next day is usually ruined. So I don’t encourage them, and really my kids have learned that they don’t like them much anyway.

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    1. Oh really? That’s so interesting as most of the time, I’ve heard kids really like it. I thought I was the only one who didn’t enjoy them!😂

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