Living Together Instead of Marriage, Good Idea ?

The modern craze is, usually soon after starting a relationship is moving in together. Marriage isn’t on the cards until many years later or never. But who does this arrangement benefit?

I wholeheartedly understand once you fall in love, and you’re still in the honeymoon phase where you want to spend every waking moment with the person. They’re on your mind all the time, you want to show them the best version of yourself whenever you can. And when you know it’s the ‘the one’, you do start thinking about the future, like not being apart and coming together as one. Living together is a big part of that, but at what cost?

No matter how much I like or love someone, marriage is such an important factor for me, and men today aren’t really interested in that. It’s not on their radar. Or if they are they say ‘maybe far far down the line’. Bed hopping, partying and having fun is their priority. I don’t understand why someone who states that they’re so in love with you and can’t imagine a future without you, gets so choked up whenever I mention marriage? Actions speak louder than words, and your actions are speaking volumes. I shouldn’t even have to bring it up!

Nowadays, the majority of guys want to have their cake and eat it too. ‘Live together’. But really what is the difference between that and marriage which many people aren’t into nowadays? It’s the commitment. The expectations and the difference is mind boggling to them, huge in fact. Men will want to live with you but not marry you? Trust me that is no compliment, I find it quite insulting honestly. Once you move in with someone and live with them, you aren’t saving anything to look forward to in marriage. The excitement is completely gone.

One of the main reasons of getting hitched is living under one roof and seeing that person everyday. But if you’ve already achieved that, what would make a guy want to change that? If I were a guy and I found a woman who’s open to living together I wouldn’t even think of marriage. What for? You’re already getting everything you would with a ring on your finger. And sexual relations are more efficient if you live together. That’s probably the only reason they want to move in! Marriage and living together, there isn’t much in it, apart from in the eyes of the law and being more secure especially for the woman bearing the children.

Years ago, living together wouldn’t even be suggested to a woman. There’d be no such thing. Marriage is living together, full stop. Why did that change? Who does that benefit? I can’t see any advantages in this arrangement for women. Only for the man’s gain. Also if you split up, who moves out? Or would you have to wait until you sell the property to get your share? Where would you live until that happens? What happens if the person wants to move a new partner in soon after?

I know its hard, but waiting it out is always the best option. It’s extremely easy to move in with your partner, but if he truly loves you and see’s a future with you, he shouldn’t even suggest living together. It’s belittling and disrespectful. My mum always said “you’re not a cat, moving in with someone”. It’s funny but it’s awfully accurate. Your self worth, morals and beliefs shouldn’t be compromised for anyone. Those are very attractive traits, no matter what countless guys say. A high number of men in this modern world, make you feel like your expectations are too high or you should be lucky to have a guy like them. I’ve heard constantly, “i’m too young for that; moving in is the same; marriage will happen later down the line” (if at all). How are you too young for marriage but not for living together? Actions speak louder than words and never question your qualities and values! The right man will love all your qualities and cherish your worth.

What do you think? If you had daughters what would you want for them? What would you encourage your son to do? Do you prefer living together or marriage? Do you see them as the same? Comment Below!

106 thoughts on “Living Together Instead of Marriage, Good Idea ?

  1. Hi,antonia
    I have a wonderful wife. One daughter got married last year. Neither I nor my wife regrets having respected and brought up her daughter as a human being. Parents can not choose their children, and children can not choose their parents.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know! And to think you spent so much time with someone for it not to work out in marriage, it’s a lot emotionally.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Antonia : This is so well written, and I hope that people heed your good advice.
    I’ve been married for 45 years. Marriage is not ” old fashioned” , but a beautiful commitment between two people. I encouraged my son to wait for marriage. I think that men’s attitudes towards marriage and commitment are influenced by their mothers.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Aw Thankyou! 45 years wow I need some advice from you! Exactly! I completely agree with you. I think many guys opinion on this will be completely different to ours haha! But that’s where the difference lies. And yes I also agree with your point how men’s attitude towards marriage stems from their mothers. How you’re raised moulds you as a person. But it’s become so common nowadays ‘living together’ I wonder if that’s all from their mothers? Or different sources also. Who knows!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’ve never been married, but I totally agree with you Sally. Marriage is a special covenant, a blessing from God. There’s no better way to enjoy this blessing other than with the one you truly love.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tina, thank you for your comments. It is important to wait for the right spouse, in God’s Perfect timing. It is great for couples to share a sense of humour, and to be able to laugh at the many things that life can throw at us. And, of course, there is a third person involved in every happy marriage, and that is God. 🤗

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Antonia, you’ve hit upon a prickly subject here and while I see precisely where you’re going with this I think you might be over generalising men especially and putting perhaps more faith in the wedding / marriage than perhaps is due.
    I know a number of women who married and their men were willing too, but the marriage lasted not long maybe a couple of years at most. In most cases the men played away or lost interest so where was the value in the marriage?
    Love is love, whether in marriage or not and if a man loves and treasure you it doesn’t matter if you have the ring on your finger or not, the same is true is he doesn’t love you – the marriage won’t stop him doing what he wants to do. The real thing to find is true love which is very hard, but I will admit if a man loved you and you want to marry then he should either agree or say he doesn’t want that.

    Personally for me I would never marry again, it’s massively over rated and that not becasue of what I can or can’t do it’s becasue of the implication that suddenly you are property rather than partners or in love.
    But that’s just me…

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I get what you’re saying! So many things in life are a risk, and if you don’t take that leap of faith, you’ll never know what could’ve been. Some people’s relationships/marriages don’t work out but some also have beautiful, happy lifelong marriages.
      Lifelong commitments aren’t for everyone and that’s fine too! But I think what’s most worrying is how marriage isn’t on a lot of people’s radars nowadays. Except they want to be with you and live together? It’s puzzling sometimes.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I know what you’re saying, I guess the thing is that people are scared of being trapped in a marriage they don’t want to end having seen other like their parent go through it.

        If you hold value in marriage then that’s something a future partner needs to have as well. I don’t think living together without marriage is puzzling, if there’s love then that’s all you need. Maybe.
        Always a pleasure to read and comment 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Well, for me… Marriage is the only option. I am with you. I see no point in living together without Marriage. It is the commitment that speaks to me. People will always have disagreements and if you’re living together it’s easy to just say that’s it and walk away. With Marriage you are more inclined to stay and work through the issue simply because you have more invested. It is also formalizing your Love in front of friends and family. Just my own feelings. That’s just me!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly! No commitment is the same as marriage. And I don’t understand why people make out like there’s a huge step between living together and marriage. Practice what you preach. If you truly love someone, it shouldn’t so hard agreeing on your future together.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Antonia, This is a great post and good advice. I lived with my now husband before we were married. That was 1976. Both of us would say it was a mistake. It was almost the end of our relationship. The same thing happened with my daughter, about 12 years ago. She followed her parent’s example, not our advice. Both of us married the men we lived with and are happily married, but not one of us would recommend living together first. It really did allow everyone to walk away without a thought when things got tough.

    I used to hear, who wants to buy the cow when the milk is free? But, I like what your mother said about the cat.

    Don’t give up on all men. Some men truly want to get married and settle down. Our son wanted to get married, and didn’t give a single thought about asking his girlfriend/fiance to live together. He listened to his parent’s advice. They are very happily married.

    Marriage is not perfect. Thankfully, I have been married 40 years, this October, so I have a little experience. Marriage is a lot of hard work. It doesn’t make everything perfect. A lot of conversation about what each person wants and expects needs to be had before the “I do’s”. Children – do you both want them and how will you discipline them, school them, etc.? Will both parents work or will one parent stay home to raise them? Money – is it our money, or your money and my money? Religion – is it important and what faith? You get the idea. There are a lot of conversations to be had, because two people who enter into marriage not knowing what the other one expects are in for a rude awakening. Many people go into marriage “googly eyed” and naive. And divorce is easy to obtain in most states, so people walk away just as easily as people who live together.

    Love is not enough, because after the “honeymoon” period, life gets real. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. “I will love you even though right now you are standing on my last nerve…you spend too much time with your friends…all you do is watch tv while I do all the work…etc.” Love is an action. It looks beyond faults and differences, and love shows itself through doing. It thinks of the other person. Marriage is about two people together, not about two separate people who live under the same roof, although I am not saying you lose your identity – that isn’t good for anyone. Have common interests, but maintain your own interests and friends. Never make your spouse the absolute center of your universe, or Simon might have a point about feeling like someone else’s property. That is not healthy.

    I think you have your head on straight. Hang in there. You are meeting the wrong men. (Sorry for the long response.)

    Frankly, most people don’t look at marriage any more seriously than living together and they divorce very quickly and easily. Communication, trust, mutual respect, and a willingness to work together through life’s ups and downs are part of commitment. I do not agree with Simon about becoming someone’s property. Obviously, there were some maturity problems, and/or they didn’t discuss expectations before taking vows.

    I think it takes some of them longer to grow up than it takes women. They don’t have biological clocks. Even though biologically adolescence ends with our teen years, that is not so true culturally.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes I read every word and completely hear what you’re saying. I can imagine marriage isn’t easy at all, but neither is living with someone! Nothing worth having in life is easy and maybe that’s what this generation has issues understanding. They want things easy no hassle included. 40 years of marriage wow I have to take a page or 2 out of your book haha! That’s phenomenal!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  6. interesting post, really…in my opinion, the word “marriage” depends on the definitions of individuals and societies; I wouldn’t dive much into that…marriage is either real or its fake, regardless of whether a clergyman (or whoever) officially sanctions it, especially in the presence of people… as for me, if I don’t love you enough to be in a relationship, then I wouldn’t be in a relationship… and if I’m into a relationship, living together could just be enough to seal a deal between me and the lady for life; on the other hand, official marriage would make someone more socially accepted and secured…but does social acceptance matter, when the love between 2 people living together is genuine? I don’t think so… we are admonished to genuinely love one another… and I think that’s what really matters; not some official marriage that is based on fake love or social acceptance, and also not of greater value than the love existing between 2 “unmarried (according to society)” people who live together and love each other much more than many officially married people do

    living together is enough; but marriage is necessary for those who seek societal or social acceptance and a bit of prestige—even when some of the prestige has been based on falsehood

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I completely understand what you mean when you say marriage is more socially acceptable than living together. But I do think in a lot of people’s minds especially women’s, that doubt in their mind will always be there. If they’re just living with you, that could easily change at any moment. Because there’s no real commitment there, apart from the living arrangement. I think it’s more important in a women’s mind than men’s, as men can’t have children. Woman can. And the security will never be the same unless your married. Mentally and physically. Not everyone’s for marriage and I get that, but I do think there’s a major difference between living together and marriage.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I love my Daughters they are High Altitude, High Performance engines that produce tremendous velocities of energy to achieve accelerating heights. You last 2 sentences on the 6th paragraph speaks volumes.
    As a Father who has lots of Daughters around the world. I would tell them the same thing. I could care less if you were 50yrs old and not married. Never second guess yourself to the opinions of others, men or even women.
    As a Father I would tell my Daughters never tarnish the luster of your Beauty and Creation for the wiles of society.
    A Father would still tell his Daughters at whatever age, I Love you, I am very proud of you young lady you’re an amazing Woman. Guard your spirit of Love and nurturing in a pristine condition. Uncharted and unmapped a free spirit. Man said you had to marry, I never said that, your Fathers never said that.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. For me personally I think marriage and living together is the same.
    The only difference is with just living together and no ring it is like having one foot in and one foot out of the relationship. And if you cannot be completely in than there is no need to be in that particular relationship.
    Marriage and living together is the same and if you’re not ready for marriage living together not a good idea.
    I would tell my daughter to take her time
    But, to each their own.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree when you say if you’re not ready for marriage, living together isn’t a good idea. Because the living arrangements are similar but the difference is quite substantial.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Not a good idea, if you are married or not. Just me. It can bring you a lot of trouble, and my parents have been married for ….what? 40+ plus years, ask them. I do know something, since they are the rock, my father manages to make my mother laugh everymorning.
    Maybe I should buy some of those girls products for my ex´s, yep, it is a lot of plurals.
    Like the song, just a lane boy, don´t take the straight road.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha your comments!😂😂 40 years? Wow that’s amazing!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Like

      1. No, you are more complex, like it or not that is a fact,
        Still love ya, I tried to become gay but it didn´t work, so I guess, guessss, I like women.

        Love ya, and I´m not drunk so take that in consideration…….or not, now going to get whi

        Liked by 2 people

  10. I believe living together before marriage can be critical to a healthy relationship. You learn more about a person living together than a part and can see any habits that you might not be able to live with. It gives you a shared place to talk about future desires too. About sex, kids, careers, pets, etc. I would encourage my children to do what is best for them, but share my opinions if I think it is necessary. At the end of the day, what works for some doesn’t work for all and as long as they’re happy, what does it matter?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahh that’s an interesting perspective! That must work for your family and that’s what matters fundamentally. Being liberal encourages your offspring to make their own decisions which is often great.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome. You stay in my mind. I encourage you to check out how women are treated in Islamic countries. You will have to answer for yourself if that is how you want to spend your life. Please stay in touch.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Guys these days won’t marry even if they say they want to be with the person ALWAYS because of the natural and legal consequences of marriage. Apart from the supposition of getting “bored” in the relationship, some men these days aren’t just ready to deal with these consequences like child support, spouse support, and other familial and marital obligations. I don’t know, I could be very wrong though.

    Personally, I want to wait until marriage before moving in with my lover. I’m glad he shares the same sentiment. By living together, I and my love might have kids along the way, buy properties, enter into contracts, and do other acts that might get complicated by a cohabitation set up. Say for instance, having kids out of wedlock. Here from where I come from, they will be considered illegitimate, and thus with limited rights under the law, if they are born in such state.

    Thanks for this insightful post. I’m happy that people with strong convictions, like you, still exist in this time and age.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. You’re completely right! You have such a wise head on your shoulders I couldn’t have said it better! It’s amazing to know there are still some people who share these values and beliefs in life.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

    1. 21 years! Wow that’s amazing. I hope you have many more years together!
      I’m not really for living together before marriage either, I don’t see why there’s a reason to.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Attitudes toward marriage/relationships are influenced more than anything else by the type of marriage one’s parents have/had. My parents were married for 42 years, and ended only when my father died recently. Consequently, I’m much more “open” to marriage, if ever I’m lucky enough to be in that situation.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That makes so much sense! Wow that sounds like a long and beautiful marriage! Thankyouu for your insight and for reading & commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  13. I can be your dad and I advise you to marry and not to live with a guy. If you are married it is more difficult for him to dump you because as a wife you will have more financial rights. So listen to me, and don’t be cheap.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I am have to help such a kind young lady like you. Don’t forget me advise please and don’t fall to their sweet talks and empty promises. Only marriage is a real commitment.

        Liked by 2 people

  14. Well stated. I agree with your points. Commitment is one of the main ingredients of a successful marriage, along with the depth of love beyond surface love or personal satisfaction. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  15. My view on marriage has changed since I’ve gotten older (due to every single relationship I’ve been in), but thinking about now, why do you need to sign a contract to prove you love someone? Why is that become the end of all means to show that you love someone?

    Looking at it now marriage is basically a business, and you have assets you need to protect yourself (prenup) just like any business would do.

    It’s not that I’m completely against it, but contracts and love don’t equate in my brain… (there’s more I have to say, but this would be a whole blog post lol)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think it’s more than a contract. It’s sealing your love for one another. Commitment is so important to many, and I don’t think someone asking you to be their girlfriend vice versa, has the same meaning as being asked to marry. You’re making it official to yourselves, your families and any future offspring you may have. Also I personally don’t agree with prenups as it completely defeats the purpose of marriage. If you wish to marry me vice versa, you should be able to trust your other half, emotionally and financially.
      I understand what you’re saying though!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  16. Marriage is important because it gives you stability and when you married to someone you are able to invest on that person and when it comes to children it really gives them peace of mind and people must must remember that when honeymoon vanishes is easier to leave someone you not married to even if kids are involved.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. 🍪
    Just living with someone
    is maybe akin
    to being offered
    only half
    of a cookie
    when you crave
    it all!
    Your appetite
    craves the whole cookie,
    nothing but the whole cookie
    so maybe
    you don’t feel
    quite satisfied.

    Quote The Pastry Baker Evermore!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I am going to use a metaphor that may upset some and seems crude, but I have always found it the most real comparison for this subject. I told both of my daughters this, but it made no difference. It goes like this: “Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free?” 😉Sorry… I just couldn’t resist!🙄🙃🤣

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha my mum also used to say that, and still does!😂 it does sink in though, what your parents say. Even if you try and be stubborn, not wanting it to.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  19. Hmmm. I think everyone should do whatever is best for him or her and their situation. My husband and I moved in together three years before marriage (over 20 years ago). Everything worked out okay. If your intent is to be married, then make sure that’s his intent too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yess I couldn’t agree more about how everyone should do as they wish! In some cases, guys try to make you believe what’s ‘normal’, even if it’s going against what you truly want for yourself and how you’ve been raised. But definitely, everyone should do what makes them happy always. You only live once as they say!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  20. This is a great topic!

    My husband and I moved in together (well, he moved in with me) after we’ve been a couple for a year and a half. I think that was a reasonable timeframe. I was 20 then, just a few months away from my 21st birthday, and I would not have been ready to get married. I wanted to live with him, he wanted to live with me. But who thinks of marriage at 20 or 21?
    We got married another three and a half years later – and that was 15 years ago! I think it was great that we lived together first, because we got to know each other even better, and we knew there were no issues or nasty surprises (i.e. the other could have turned out to be a messie or a hoarder, etc).

    Nowadays (Wow, do I sound old or what?) it’s different. None of the people I work with are in love with the respective person they’re with. Some have given up their place and moved in with someone, others are in the opposite situation because they now have a partner who gave up their place. And then there are others who, sometimes just 3 months into the relationship, already know that the person they currently live with is not the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with, so they just “hang in there” while they’re waiting to meet the right person… in the circumstances, I can’t blame them for not getting married!

    I’ve noticed that a number of single guys (all aged in their late 20s to early 30s) at my place of work are actually longing to start a family – and they DO want to get married, have kids, a house… but they haven’t found the right woman yet.

    I think there’s no right or wrong, and I guess in the end it all depends on a few things – how old are they? 21? 35? At what stage in their live are they? And what do they actually want? Do they even want a family? Do they truly love and respect their partner? Do they already know the relationship will not last? Did their parents get divorced when they were kids? Maybe they want to avoid the heartbreak of a divorce because of their own bad childhood memories? I would say that, as long as 2 people want the same thing and they’re honest with each other, they should do what they want. The problem ist just that, as you pointed out, 1 person might want one thing, the other person might want the complete opposite. They’d just be unhappy and they’d get divorced eventually. So it’s actually better if they don’t get married in the first place…

    I don’t have kids, but if I had kids, I wouldn’t want them to get married just for the sake of it. I would want my kids to be with someone they truly love and who loves them back. I would not want them to settle for someone “suitable”. I would also tell them that I had doubts about their partner if their partner really believes that being married is more important than who they’re married to.

    My husband and I are insanely happy – 20 years (15 years married) and counting. We love each other more every day. This is what it’s all about! And because of this, I’d also tell my kids that a relationship shouldn’t feel like work. If it does, they should think about whether this is what they really want for the rest of their lives.

    But again, I think if 2 people are honest with each other and they want the same thing, more power to them! If 2 people don’t agree on marriage or on the subject of living together, they’re probably not right for each other. But that’s just my opinion.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your knowledge is key! And it makes so much sense what you’re saying. Your insight is so enlightening and eye opening!
      So glad you enjoyed this post!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  21. true story.. Maree and i lived together for 19 years had 2 kids got married on the 19th year divorced on the 20th year.. what should have been our first 1 year celebrations on was officially divorced on the date we got married… mmmm
    Lifeat60

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow really? That’s unimaginable, must’ve been so saddening and confusing. I’m left wondering, if you had to do it all again would you have married her earlier, or not changed anything about how the relationship progressed and it ultimately ending?
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting😊

      Like

      1. i’m not sad about it at the time it devastated me.. but didn’t have time with the 2 kids… even now i can honestly say i had 20 great years with her, its just strange how it finished. but thank u for your comment and have a great day.
        Paul.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. i know of 3 people who have chosen this route all of them came out of really bad marriages.
    So although I would want my child to get married i can see why someone would choose to this option.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh really? That’s so sad, I completely hear where you’re coming from! I imagine it doesn’t work for everyone at all. Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!😊

      Like

  23. Antonia, you are wise beyond your years to recognize the fallacies of living together before marriage. God made us, he knows what’s best for us. “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex” (Hebrews 13:4 MSG). His way protects us from STDs and painful emotional distress, just as you’ve described. So glad to see your message resonating with a lot of people, based on all the comments here. May it continue to circulate! P.S. My husband and I just celebrated Anniversary #49. Seems impossible. I don’t FEEL old, but the numbers speak a different reality!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww thankyouu! 49 years of marriage wow, I need some pages out of your book! That’s incredible. Haha the years are just more wisdom not age!
      Thankyouu so much for your insight and glad you enjoyed this post!😊

      Like

    1. You’re so right. I do think people should wait until marriage, society nowadays says otherwise. I imagine it’s harder raising children now more than ever!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. nice write.
    i have found it is not just men who want to move in with someone. women too are suggesting the same.
    many people are opting to share the cost of maintaining one household when “dating” instead of two. since society has accepted, mostly, the fact people who are not married, living together and acting “married” as a normal attitude in today’s world. it even includes having children, whether by childbirth or adoption. most of life today, one does not have to be married. there are some economic and legal issues that still have not accepted those living together outside of marriage.
    the traditional reasons for marriage was to 1. give the woman security in life, and 2. for procreation.
    but women now do not, for the most part, need the security of marriage as they are not just staying at home and maintaining the household while men make a living, but are out in the general workforce and have been for decades.
    also, as we all well know, you do not have to be married to have children.

    being married does not mean someone will stay together as the divorce rate is still about 50%. those who by law could not “marry” such as those in a gay relationship, seem to have about the same rate of “divorce” as those in a traditional marriage.

    it seems people want to be together and it should be up to them to decide how they want it to be. it may not agree to others personal views how they go about it. but as long as they are happy, who are we to say otherwise.
    .

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right! Times change, so do expectations for the majority of us. Your points are extremely valid, I couldn’t pick out holes in your statements if I tried! Thankyouu so much for your honest insight!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Marriage is a commitment which in today’s world does not resonate with most men. I’ve been married 49 years and counting. We never lived together. I would never agree to that in a million years. We have so many differences to overcome when we got married because of different background, culture, religion, marital status (he was divorced and had a kid and I was single) but we made a commitment. Marriage is hard work. It’s not all lovey-dovey as people portray it. One of my sons asked his girlfriend to move with him and she said no until they get married. I said good for her. They are still married – 13 years. My other son moved in with his girlfriend and lived together for 14 years and then she moved out. They are still friends and not married. My stepdaughter lived with her boyfriend for 7 years, got married and had a fight the first month of their marriage and they got divorced within a year. My take on marriage is always “Get married first”. Living together and having a practice run does not work. Women is at a disadvantage if you allow men to live in with you. They will never want to get married. Why bother? They have what they want and no commitment!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Everything you said is so right! It’s almost like we have the same mindset😂 I couldn’t agree more. My mum always said if a man can get what he want for free, why would he change that? There’s nothing more to get.
      Plus when you live together beforehand you ruin the step of moving into together shortly after marriage. You’re supposed to get excited being able to see the person everyday and live in one another’s environment. But when you live together it wrecks what’s to come! It’s like a ladder, how are you supposed to climb it when vital steps are missing?
      I agree with what you said, I imagine marriage isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but a lot of the time, neither are relationships.
      Thankyouu so much for your wonderful insight😊

      Like

    1. You’re so right. It’s like having the cake and eating it too! What incentive is there for the woman that can get pregnant? None🤷🏽‍♀️
      Thankyouu so much for reading and commenting!
      Have a lovely day😊

      Like

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