How Long Should You Wait For A Proposal?

They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend; why wait?

This is the question that many can’t seem to answer. Is there a timeframe on love? No. Is there a timeframe on when the person knows how they feel? Yes. Do some people still carry on in a relationship keeping their true feelings under-wraps, because they’ve become too comfortable? Yes, and I think this is the most common denominator…

Many are in relationships that are stagnant, as no-one has made the next step forward to marriage, which is usually on the man’s shoulders. I don’t believe for a second when a male says, “they’re not sure”. When you read between the lines of what he truly means, it suggests he knows how he feels, but he doesn’t want to hurt you or the relationship to end. How do you not know how you feel about someone?

They say the average male knows his partner is “the one” after seven months of dating. So why hold out for years and years?

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Love is an incredibly strong emotion. Some may say the strongest known to man. So how would you be unable to identify if you feel that or not? The term, “more than words” is significant here.

How are you meant to know how someone feels about you if they aren’t showing it in actions like proposing? Sure, they might say words like I love you eternally, and couldn’t see myself with anyone else, but what are words in the grand scheme of things. They might say that one day, then the next they could get up and leave, so how much can you read into words?

I completely get when some say, I don’t want to rush into anything, then regret it and have to divorce afterwards. Who wants a divorce? Nobody. Honestly, if you truly love the person, you shouldn’t even be thinking about negative what-if’s…

Also, if you’re in a relationship where one person believes in marriage and the other doesn’t, that’s a car crash waiting to happen. I can literally see it in slow motion…

How are you meant to compromise on one of the biggest milestones in your life? Explain how we can compromise on commitment? You can meet your partner in the middle regarding some things; BUT THIS ISN’T ONE!

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I don’t understand the purpose of some people being together for years and years, then they might get married by the 10 year mark. Is this DECADE DATING?! It’s become quite popular with millennials, and I can’t wrap my head around it.

Usually, in this circumstance they’re basically common-law partners. As they act like a married couple, do everything and more as though they’re married, but then this is the line I’ve heard from others repeatedly. “I don’t see the significance in a piece of paper,”. “It doesn’t define how much we love each other,”… But living together does? Each to their own.

Timescale on when you should be engaged then married? In my opinion, the guy should really know what he wants within the first year. Then from engagement to marriage should be around 1 year. Any longer than 2 years is a huge NO NO! I’ll hesitantly give him a get out of jail free card because we’re in a pandemic, but that’s only for a few extra months!

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Nowadays, the timeframe is being stretched out, as sometimes he thinks he has many options due to the freedom this generation think they have to finding someone. Happiness is paramount to people nowadays, and as important as it is, they weigh their relationship against if they’d be happier out of it, then your relationship status changes at the drop of a hat. Relationships usually aren’t on cloud 9 every day, and if it’s on cloud 8 every other day, some revert back to the mindset, I’d be happier out of this and go on this never-ending search of non-stop happiness.

When you have to wake up 5 times a night to attend to a baby, that’s when life gets real and the true meaning of happiness is revealed… in the form of a dirty nappy.

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I’d say when it gets to the three year mark, for me it’s like now or never, as then it can easily reach the 5 year mark, then roll onto decade dating without you even blinking.

I’d also say, many times it can depend on you and your partners age. If you starting dating aged 16 or something, it may be best to use the three year max as a timescale. As getting married at 17, especially nowadays can be dubious decision. If you’re both on the other side of 25, I’d say you should really know where one another’s head’s are at, as you don’t have an infinite amount of time in life, especially as a woman, and your baby clock is ticking. So there’s no time to be nonchalant, or the “let’s see where this goes” phrase.

Time goes faster than we think, and if you’re in a solid relationship, you shouldn’t be doubting if a proposal will happen or not. Your cards should be on the table, and if it’s the right person for you, there should be no hesitation in wanting the same goal.

Marriage can be scary, but so can relationships You’ll at least have that commitment as reassurance that you’re both in this together, to move forward in life. Instead of being oblivious to whether you’re coming or going!

Treadmill Gif Sulley Sullivan

What do you think? Have you had any good/bad experiences? Is marriage a must for you? How long would you wait for a proposal? Comment below!

18 thoughts on “How Long Should You Wait For A Proposal?

  1. I love , love this post. my mother told me she married my father after one year of pure dating. They were married for 32 years. Your correct when you said a man know within months if he want to marry. My father told me he knew my mother was the one after five months. I stayed in two relationships 7 years. The 1st. He said no to marriage. The 2nd he said no, but years later he said he regret marrying me. Today at 56, I no longer desire to be married. I am not in a relationship and choose to remain single 💔

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wow that’s incredible! Aww your parents sound like a love story!
      They usually say the man knows quite early and your father definitely did!
      I don’t understand how some people say no to marriage, it’s like why are we even in a relationship then?! Sometimes they try and hide their answer for as long as possible, which is quite cruel.
      Wow, well as they say, you never know what you’ve had until it’s gone!
      That’s amazing! Happiness isn’t measured by whom you’re with, it’s when you’re happy and content with yourself, with or without someone!
      Thankyouu for reading and sharing such an eye-opening story!🤗😁

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Interesting post. I was not able to really make that choice back in the day. That then led to a divorce many years later due the resentment of not being able to say no. All of that said… I now have met someone that I love with all of my being. I would ask her to marry me right now today if we were able to be together. It is my intention to ask her at the earliest possible time. I am hoping with all my heart that she will give an enthusiastic YES!
    You always have such thought provoking and engaging(🤭) topics!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow! I imagine a lot of marriages that happen early on may have a greater chance of failing. As it’s kind of expected from parents and society (not to much nowadays) and may not be what you truly want inside, you may just be avoiding your truth. But usually it finds its way of haunting you when the resentment towards the person grows.
      That’s amazing that it sounds like you’ve finally found your ‘happily ever after’! I’m sure she will say yes!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and so glad you’ve enjoyed this post!😁

      Like

  3. You really didn’t explain what’s wrong with just common law partners. What the hell is the significance of a piece of paper? Why does that cement your relationship? I think it’s an excuse for spoiled princess type women to have a big party. A ceremony doesn’t change your relationship at all

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There isn’t anything wrong with common law partners at all. But sometimes one of the parties in the relationship aren’t fully happy with not being married within the eyes of the law. And sometimes outsiders like family and friends can make the parties involved in the relationship feel like being common law partners isn’t enough.

      I guess in my mind common law partners wouldn’t work for me as it’d feel like I’m always sitting on the edge. Like my partner has one foot in one foot out. And I think many other people especially females can feel that way as firstly, is only natural. And secondly, if the woman falls pregnant, she might not feel the emotional security if her partner is a ‘common law partner’. As essentially, he would be able to walk away any moment in time, without having to go through any process or upheaval. And that can affect anyone mentally, but especially a pregnant hormonal female.

      Like

  4. Astute observations, Antonia.

    I’ve heard some guys, a few of them acquaintances, express reluctance at proposing because, well, what it it ends in rejection?

    That uncertainty is fair enough, if you expect the second or third date to end in engagement. In the real world, though, relationships don’t take on a marriage mindset until much further on. By a couple years in, it should be pretty obvious (if still tacit) the woman will say “Yes!” If not, maybe this isn’t the relationship either one of you needs

    Recollecting my grandparents (whom I’ve mentioned before), I recall they had been dating a year or so when Pearl Harbor was struck. In one moment, my grandfather enlisted…and proposed. Of course, my grandmother said, “Yes!,” then off to Europe my grandfather went for four years

    No matter whether a world war was the best time to get married, my grandparents made it work. It was a great move for them (and, ultimately for me, of course). It endured 72 years of raising a family in the suburbs, then lots of grandchildren and retirement to the beach (Florida).

    God, I miss them. A bit off-topic, but it just goes to show us what can be done.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thankyouu so much for your insight!
      Precisely, what’s the point in dating for a couple years or even a year if you can’t see yourself marrying the person? The relationship already has an expiry date!
      Your grandparents sound like very wise people, and that mindset has clearly gone down the generations!😃
      Aww how beautiful! If that isn’t a true love story, I don’t know what is!

      Thankyouu so much for reading and taking such a lovely trip down memory lane! Truly wonderful!😃😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Many are in relationships because of the fear of being alone. And to be honest, from what I see, I can say the best age to have a good and stable relationship, or even get married, is when you are near the forties. All this thing around dating apps and grass is greener syndrome only made it somehow difficult to have a proper relationship.

    I loved how you approached this topic.

    Have a lovely weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How very interesting! I imagine for a woman that may want to have children naturally, that might be a bit of a rush for her to hopefully find a stable relationship/marriage, and because she’s in such a rush, she could fall for the wrong one.

      I couldn’t agree with you more regarding dating apps and the grass in greener syndrome! That mentality is very apparent in today’s society.

      Aww thankyouu so much and so glad you’ve enjoyed reading this post!
      Have a lovely weekend to you also!🤗😁

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a question for you. You being a single woman I am presuming. How do you view marriage after Divorce? Is there any room for marrying again after either person has been divorced? I can’t believe that God would want his children to be alone if they have meet another that fulfills them and makes them happy. I can understand the teaching in the Bible about it. I believe it comes from a place of keeping the community healthy. If there has been infidelity and lost trust is a person supposed to give up all chance at a new love. After all… if one loses there spouse to death there is no stigma attached to remarriage. So why the double standard with divorce? Aren’t people prone to errors in there life? Is there not room for a second chance at happiness? I breathlessly await your response! You always seem to have such deep insite into these matters.

    Like

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