Racism in Restaurant? You Decide.

This appalling, unfathomable experience took place last Sunday, 19th July 2020, at Copper Cafe, Nottingham.

I’ll give you an insight into our backgrounds from an outsiders perspective. I’m mixed and my partner is tanned with a beard, read into that how you will. Some, associate that with a certain background and want to paint everyone with the same brush.

Let’s backtrack to the day when this incident happened. I was getting ready, when my partner rang the restaurant-that we always have brunch at, to book. Since the coronavirus pandemic, we always ring the restaurant so they can take details over the phone if possible as it just makes it much easier and less physical contact.

So he rings the restaurant at 12:30pm asking to make a booking in around 30 minutes, so for 1pm. And they say sure etc, no issues. They take our details for incase anyone has the virus, so they have means to contact us, and that’s that.

We also went there the day prior to this. Saturday, and everything was operated smoothly, no issues, as how we’re usually treated at this specific restaurant.

On Sunday, we must’ve arrived there a few minutes early. It looked like a ghost town, there were only 2/3 people sitting at one table. So we walk in as usual and right off the bat, before we could even breathe, the ‘manager’ who we virtually have never seen this specific guy, says sharply without a smile in sight, “Have you booked?”

Excuse me, but who are you? Harry Potter gif. meme

So my partner says yes, it’s under *name inserted here*. So then the manager looks through the book and says…

“No there’s no name here,”. Now, you should’ve seen the restaurant, it’s quite large and it’s the quietest I’ve ever seen it. So my partner replies, “I rang half an hour ago to make a booking for 1pm and the person confirmed it,” So the manager interjects and said, “Well that’s impossible because I’ve been here all morning and that booking was never made. You must’ve called a different branch,” My partner replies, “No, I’m positive I rang this branch, I came here yesterday, and I rang the same number,” The manager repeated, “I can guarantee you must’ve called a different one because I’ve been here all day mate, but as you can see, we’re not busy so you can pick a table, and I’ll arrange to take your details,” Like he was doing us a favour, correcting our “mistake”…

Whilst this whole debacle happened, the manager spoke quite loudly, seemingly purposefully, so that he could try and embarrass us in front of the 2/3 people that were dining in. As he acted very shirty, and it honestly felt like he really didn’t want us there. Reason? Who knows, but I can only think of one…

I get you gif

When we sat down at a table, I said to my partner that we should eat elsewhere as it’s crystal clear that he doesn’t really want us dining here. Secondly, the atmosphere is very apparent. And lastly, why would you want to give this person and organisation your money?

But my partner takes a menu and is quite adamant on staying.

Looking on. Stare. Examine. Examining the situation. Body language gif

So I just look towards the manager, examining his body language is quite stand offish and awkward, then I look at my partner on the phone ringing someone, and I hear the restaurant phone ringing too, so I work out that he’s ringing the restaurant to prove, he called this specific branch. So the manager answered right in front of his eyes, unaware that it was him calling. The manager laughs it off then returns to our table and repeats himself like he’s a broken record saying, “I can assure you you didn’t ring me,” then my partner says, “It was a woman I spoke to.”.

I overhear the manager asking the women working there, the way he asks them is a completely different manner from how he’s spoken to us since we walked in. Softly, he asks them and they say they hadn’t taken a call, denying it at all costs. Clearly lying as this whole situation as escalated to such a significant issue, how would they now backtrack and say, “Oh actually I did take the call?”. And make them all look like fools? So my partner shows him that he rang the correct number, and the manager is not backing down at all, and just trying to downplay the facts, and be hell-bent of accusing us that it’s our error. No apology or anything in sight, but he know’s he’s embarrassed himself he just says, he’ll leave the menu there, and if and we want to order, he’ll be back.

Rip up Gif Menu

I reiterate that we shouldn’t eat here, it’s clear in how the manager has behaved, let’s eat somewhere else that actually deserves the money. And the dining experience will be much better. So he agrees, whilst grinding his teeth. So on my way out I say, “There’s a reason why it’s so empty in here,” aimed at the manager. Then on we went. It left a bitter taste in our mouths, especially my partners.

This isn’t the first time we’ve been ill-treated in a restaurant. But I’d say this has the be the worst experience, as the manager’s behaviour was so evident, it left you feeling somewhat belittled, as that was his intention all along. He made no effort at all to backtrack or try and ease what should have been a minuscule issue, that his staff caused. It’s like you’re unable to dine at a restaurant of your choice because they don’t want you there and try to find any excuse not to have you dine there. And remember, we’ve been going to that restaurant for years with no issues. Meaning that specific guy, made his feelings blatant, and took it upon himself to basically say, you must be in the wrong restaurant. Leaving no room for maybe himself (manager) got it wrong, or maybe the staff did, but we’re in the wrong no hesitation about it.

Racial Bias. Racism

His attitude as soon as we walked in and the look on his face was like, we must’ve been mistaken for walking in, and we’ve come to the wrong place.

Why was he so unwelcoming? Why was he so blunt? How was he sure he wasn’t mistaken? Why did this even amount to such a colossal, extensive issue? The venue was basically empty, but why was it such a personal issue for the manager to keep repeating, he’s right and we must be wrong, but like he’ll do us a favour, unwillingly? In a normal restaurant, even if a booking isn’t down but the customer made one, the staff would just say oh we don’t have anything down, our mistake, but don’t worry you can sit anywhere. Why did he feel like he had to cement his view with no evidence of facts that we MUST have called elsewhere? Why was he so standoffish from the moment we walked in? The only one thing I can think off is how we look.

What else would someone judge you off? I saw the gentle manner he spoke to the staff working there with, so why was his manner and behaviour polar opposite to us?

Angry pig gif

Upon walking out, I noticed two other people on a table that must’ve walked in when this fiasco happened, and I didn’t even hear them walk in. Or anyone checking their details or so forth. Meaning they were sat down and welcomed smoothly and quietly, nothing like the vile, piggish behaviour we were greeted with.

What would you put this experience down to? Why was the manager leaving no room for the possibility that he was wrong? Why was he so blatantly rude in his manner? Why raise his voice throughout this whole interaction? Why couldn’t we have rang that branch? Why do we have to be the ones that are mistaken without question? How would you have acted in that situation? Would you have carried on dining there? Comment below!

Side-note: This happened without the manager or any of his staff using face masks or PPE.

48 thoughts on “Racism in Restaurant? You Decide.

  1. There is no reason for rudeness! I would have behaved just kike your husband, with a great big smile on my face enjoying the food.
    After this whole shit show, I hope you called this uneducated swamp water’s boss, disciplinary actions are required!
    This prehistoric dino dug is the reason why there are so many issues with hatred in our world.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree, there’s never a reason for rudeness.
      Disciplinary actions are required 100%!
      I’m taking this much higher than the ‘manager’ in question.
      And how can they allow someone like that to work there? Especially in the role as manager? Shows their judgement as a company is way off.
      Exactly!
      Thankyouu so much for reading, Zita!🙏😊

      Like

      1. It could be that the company had no idea of his behaviour because no one did anything about it, which is a shame.
        One does not have to lower themselves down to the level of the ignorant to stand up for one’s self.
        I do hope you get the results that you have the right to.

        Like

  2. How awful, it’s hard to think why he would be like that, surely every business needs customers at present, but I, white ( suntanned in summer! ) grandmother have had strange experiences. Our local homely cafe we have been going in for years for a cooked breakfast every few months, had a new waitress (oldish ). We asked for our coffee with the breakfast, but as I had a dry mouth I asked for a glass of tap water and she said they didn’t serve tap water as they were a small business! What! – a local business that does very well, with some old couples going in for their lunch every day! We never went there again and comments on Facebook proved we were not alone.
    A winter’s day on our way home from holiday we stopped for lunch at a pub, my husband had left his wallet in the car so after much musing over the delicious menu I reluctantly went up to the bar to order. Reluctantly because I do have this complex I am going to be ignored at bars. The place was nearly empty, there were Five people behind the long bar, doing things, filling up, wiping down, but I couldn’t catch the eye of any of them, despite edging along to try and catch someone. By which time, in my big winter jumper, I had a hot flush and just wanted to get out of there. Fetched bewildered husband and told him we were leaving! As we walked out one of them did say ‘Can I help you? ‘ I just replied it was too late, I wish I had added pathetically ‘It’s okay, we have got a banana and bottle of water in the car.’
    When the children were little we moved, not far, but to a new infant school for our eldest. I was walking to school with the Only friendly mum I had met, local accent, but of Indian origin. when I mentioned how unfriendly it was at the school gate, she said she thought they didn’t talk to her because of colour prejudice, of course I replied ‘They don’t talk to me either!’
    Back to your experience, anyone who doesn’t understand customer service should get a job on an oil rig or something – how hard is it to treat customers as you would like to be treated?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s disgraceful and laughable how people can expect to have a business or work in hospitality, when their manner and behaviour is sickening!
      The customer is always right, and in this specific incident, we were 100% right, why should a manager even try and say you’re in the wrong? It’s against every customer service etiquette there is!
      Your experiences sound terrible, and people must do better. Especially working in hospitality or at the school gates! Then the matter just snowballs into much larger. But to be honest, how much larger can these issues get?
      Thankyouu so much for reading😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ugh this sickens me!
    I really don’t know what I would have done. I’m torn.
    I absolutely hate confrontation. So I think I would have just left to avoid it. But then again, I can’t just let this blatant discrimination go on. If I DIDN’T do anything, it would eat at my soul
    I’m so sorry you had to experience this 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It disgusts me too!
      People like him should not be working in hospitality, I don’t even know where they should be working because no-one would accept that behaviour, ever!
      Thankyouu so much for reading, Ayesha!🙏😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I hate that anyone has to experience what you did. But I have to admit, I’ve been the victim of prejudice most of my life. My family was one of only two Japanese/American families in the county where I grew up. There were no black families in my school district. By the time I was in First Grade, I was accused of killing an entire Marine Battalion single handedly in the Pacific, sinking a Navy destroyer in Pearl Harbor, and force marching Army relatives in the Bataan. All of this before I turned six years old and clearly over 10 years before my birth.
    Prejudice has no logic, no reason, and no cure. It’s impossible to change the mind of a person who holds prejudice against another. The best anyone can hope for is a forced apology due to taking the matter to someone of greater authority. But when prejudice is supported by local or even national culture, there will never be an apology coming. Your only recourse is to give the matter to God and let Him exact justice on your behalf. Jesus said it on the cross: Luke 23: 34a “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” And the truth is, they really don’t know what they are doing.
    We are fighting a spiritual battle to save the souls of people called by God in every culture, country, and belief structure of the world. In the face of hatred, we are called to love. In the face of adversity, we are called to persevere. When our enemy would take our shirt, we are called to give our enemy our coat. We cannot diffuse hatred with anger, but I know from experience, we can soften the heart of insanity with love and by never compromising our values.
    As a young boy, I rode my bicycle all around town selling greeting cards from a huge book. I called upon every home in a town with only 1200 people and one stop light on Main Street. Everyone knew me, not everyone liked me, but I did sell boxes of cards. One day, an old neighbor that lived across the street from my home talked to my father and told him to send me to their house for an order. This order became the first of many from this lady. She told my dad that she never answered the door when I came by because she didn’t like having a young “China-boy” on her property. She always had her sister answer the door. No matter how rude or mean they acted towards me, she said I always treated them with respect and thanked them for their time. It took 12 years for her to allow me to enter her home and I was able to enjoy her stories about life in the small town until she passed away years later. I sold her greeting cards, raked leaves from her yard, mowed her grass, and planted her flowers every spring. She never apologized for her rudeness, but her friendship was apology enough.
    Can I promise that this rude manager will ever change his heart? No, it may never happen. But when you give the matter to God, His vengeance will be far more to fear than anything you could ever imagine. You will be able to walk away in peace and the matter will never leave a bad mark on your heart. Sure, I would take the matter as far up the ladder as I could go, but don’t be surprised to find that the manager’s hatred is the normal culture of the business leadership. In that case, I would let my family and friends know what happened and never set foot in the establishment again. They will either change, or go out of business. If they change, everyone will benefit. If they go out of business, they deserved it. That will be proof of God’s vengeance on your behalf.
    By the way, thank you for liking my post “Our God is Our Sufficiency, or Our Sufficiency is Our God.”

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  5. The manager was rudely, egotistically, and rather maniacally covering up a mistake. But what was the mistake? Either the reservation had been taken, and he was wrong about that, and he can’t abide being called out for mistakes. In which case he should leave the service industries. Or because the reservation was made and he didn’t like who showed up. (I’d be delighted to have a meal with you, by the way. I enjoy getting to know new people, not to mention smart and articulate people.) Evidently, he believes his attitude is worth the restaurant losing money and good will–and in a time when all restaurants are striving to endure. Since racism is not worth incurring any expense at any time, his rationalizing bears no reason. (Of course, it doesn’t bear.) And you’ve experienced all this more than once? Once is too many. This is the cost that you shouldn’t have to pay. No one should.

    So, yes, I’m saying the reason (lack of reason) was race. (Mistakes compounded on mistakes belies perfectionism.) Racial and ethnic differences should be matters of companionship coupled with interest and, indeed, fascination. I’m sorry when and where they’re not. I’m happy for the strength you have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! Someone had to pick up the phone call, did a ghost mysteriously pick up the phone and take the booking? No.
      He shouldn’t even leave the service industries, they should sack him.
      What makes it worse is that sometimes these bigots who already have a certain mentality get even worse when they get promoted to manager, as they feel like they can pick and choose who they want to dine inside.
      That’s the downside to a small amount of power given to an egotistical individual.
      It was definitely race, as how else would you make a judgement based on?
      Thankyou so much for reading and your support!😊

      Like

  6. Omg. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. There’s a lot of different establishments out there and I wouldn’t go back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 100%! There are many other establishments, and it just shows, what kind of business do they run to lose money like that? It just shows how important the staff that represent your company are!
      Thankyou so much for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou, it’s unimaginable and should not be happening anywhere, especially in the hospitality sector when you’re supposed to give these bigots your money. No thanks, I’ll eat elsewhere!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and sharing!😊

      Like

    1. 100%. What other reason is there for his inexplicable behaviour? Disgusting. As they say, what goes around comes around!
      Thankyouu so much for reading!🙏😊

      Like

    1. I’d dispute the fact that he was ‘defensive’. How could he have been ‘defensive’ the second we walked in? What would he have been defending? It seems like he had problems since he was very forceful since the moment we walked in. How can you let someone acting in an appalling manner, claiming to be the manager of the establishment, ‘let it go’?
      And give him a tip for rude, judgemental behaviour? I’d rather leave in an orderly fashion, instead of stoop to his rotten behaviour, that’s something I’d never do.

      Like

  7. As far as I’m concerned we all come from the same original parents so in that sense we are all brothers and sisters regardless of the culture we are raised in. This manager you refer to obviously doesn’t have a life and is a dysfunctional human being. So instead of feeling insulted because you have every reason to feel equal to or superior to this person you should feel sorry for him in his ignorance. You have a right to go anywhere you want to so next time just enjoy your meal and don’t worry about the rare ill mannered person who because of their ignorance may not please you with their ill manners.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! We are all related, so to treat someone in an ill manner, just because of what? The way you look? Quite shocking.
      You’re right, I feel very sorry for him, but how are the establishment not aware of what kind of person he his?
      You speak utter sense and we have a very similar mindset concerning this matter!
      Thankyou so much for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I hate that this happened to you! This is horrible! ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE! Dont you worry, his karma will come his way. I believe, regardless of race, color, gender, religion, country – everyone should be treated with respect! I’m very proud you and your partner rose above this and to take your business else where! People can be absolutely heartless and spineless. You are beautiful inside and out and Keep your head up! Sending you good vibes and prayers your way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s disgusting and just horrendous. And to go out of your way to make your feelings pretty clear, is even more sickening.
      Thankyouu! The most you can do in that situation, is take your money elsewhere so you aren’t supporting the organisation he works for, financially.
      Thankyouu so much for your support!
      Hope you and your loved ones are well!🤗

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree! Why would you ever pay for horrendous treatment? No thankyou 💁🏽‍♀️and keep your problems to yourself!🤫
      Thankyou so much for reading StacyAnne!🤗

      Like

  9. As a person who’s worked in the restaurant trade for years I am disgusted by the treatment you received. This has to be a racism issue as you said, no other reason why he would be that way to anyone when there was plenty of space and the booking was clearly made.

    Moreover what an idiot to do that and cost himself custom at a time when he needs everybody possible to spend their money with him.

    All customers should be treated like kings and queens when in the restaurant. The customer regardless of who they are, what they look like or believe, or orientation should be most welcome. They will never be wrong in what they say. Even if they are wrong they are right because its important they have a wonderful stay and leave happy.

    From a restaurant chef and bartender, I am sorry you were treated so despicably.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! You should want the service and the money, especially since the restaurant was so empty! And we had a booking anyway! So you should be welcoming us with open arms, not shifting us out the door!
      Thankyouu so much for reading and understanding how unkind this person was. Appalling experience!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course, you’re welcome.

        I sincerely hope this never happens to you again. It’s time to lose the hate and fill our world with love for all while we still have a chance to save it.

        Like

    1. Exactly, Cheryl! He waved goodbye to quite a lot of money and future visits! That amounts to hundreds, plus!
      He really does need sacking as if he can make loyal customers feel so unwelcome, for actually no reason at all, he really does have issues he should sort out away from work.
      Thankyouu so much for reading and your support!🤗😁

      Like

  10. The person(s) that own(s) the restaurant should be made aware. The manager’s behavior sounds inexcusable in any situation. Especially in retail. Restaurants are struggle as it is, and to chase paying customers away with rudeness is plain bad business.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely! It’ll be interesting to see where this goes from here. As that restaurant has a lot to answer for, especially why they employed such a ghastly manager that clearly holds certain views.
      Exactly! The hospitality and retail sector aren’t doing well at all, and if you have happily paying loyal customers, coming in all the time, and you want to turn them away by lying just because plain and simply, you don’t like the look of them (as he probably holds certain views), that ‘manager’ should be removed from working there. And in the hospitality sector in general! As no one would accept that behaviour.
      Thankyouu so much for reading this and your support!😁

      Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s unfortunate that bigotry is alive and well in the 21st century. Several years ago an African American friend and I visited a restaurant in east TX. We had a middle aged waitress who, while providing decent service, made it obvious (eyes and body language) she did not approve of this white guy sitting there with a black woman. As if it were any of her concern. Can’t stand people like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really?! Thats disgraceful and deeply disturbing.
      This is what I don’t understand…
      How do the people that employ such revolting, judgemental people not see this? They must know what kind of staff they’re taking on. And surely the staff they work around can see certain behavioural traits that have. It’s all absurd and simply doesn’t make sense.
      People like that, who served your friend should not be working in the hospitality sector. End of. It’s unacceptable!
      Thankyouu so much Alan, for reading this and sharing your story. People need to be held accountable for their behaviour.

      Like

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