Many of us would impulsively say no, but what would we actually do?
The thought of me going through hours of labour, then raising the child is a lot of work, time, energy. But at the end of it all, I wouldn’t want someone swooping in to ‘sweep them off their feet’ if they’re not suitable. I’d want to raise my child to be independent and have their own thing(s) going on, so I’d expect their partner to have their own thing(s) going on and more. I’d be very judgmental about someone coming into my child’s life, but I think I’d be more protective over my daughter. It’s just maternal instincts and usually women get hurt more than men.
Let’s say if she brought home a bin-man. I don’t have anything against bin-men, if they have ambition and have other moves in motion to get them to where they want to be in life. The difference is, having a partner who is stagnant, and has no desire to fulfil their potential, will just hold back my offspring. If he’s happy working in that field for the rest of his life that’s fine, but I wouldn’t want that for my daughter. I don’t think many parents would be the most impressed. It raises issues in the future if it hasn’t already. Firstly, it means the financial pressure is mainly on my daughter. Let’s say they have children, their father will have a menial job, which will hardly create the most influential atmosphere for them to push for what their heart desires as a career. If my daughter isn’t working and on maternity leave, or wishes to have a longer leave, or even wants to be a stay at home mother, where would finances come from? The sky?
Hypothetically if I did pay him, I imagine it’d create plenty of issues especially if she has feelings for him and worst case scenario, if she ever found out I paid him, it’d be awful. So I think if I didn’t agree with a partner I would tell her and instead of paying their partner, I’d pay my child directly. I know, I know, it sounds very deranged, but isn’t it better than paying a random person who might just take the money and keep seeing them? They might even blackmail me into giving them more money in the future! It’s just too many ‘what if’s’. I know my child might take the money and keep seeing their partner but I think it less likely.
I believe, many of us just want to see our children have the best, or even a decent person. So when we do leave this earth, we feel contempt knowing our offspring has someone to be there for them and a support system. What you do doesn’t define you, but usually parent(s) want what’s best for their child.
What do you think? Would you pay-off your child’s partner? Have you ever done it? Or even contemplated it? Do you know someone who has? Comment below!