Womens liberation and rights, yet I have a rape alarm sitting in my back pocket. Why are women being sexualised more than ever?
Day to day, it’s hard to escape it. Skirt short or long? Shirt fully buttoned or first few undone? Makeup or natural? Long hair or buzzcut? Heels or trainers? It’s not about how we look, it’s how we’re viewed. My perception is different to yours, yet you’ve categorised me already. Why are women viewed more than ever for mens fulfilment?
Equality, fighting for equal pay in all sectors. Football, winning the women’s world cup which is a footballers job. Yet, Jenni Hermoso was “congratulated” by her boss’s lips (Luis Rubiales) meeting hers, whilst firmly grasping her head; confining any adjustment she may have made. Was that to control a natural head movement possibly backing away from something she didn’t consent to? We’ll never know as the choice was taken away from her. If I meet my targets in the office, should I expect my boss to kiss me on the lips? What next, GP’s welcoming me into their practice with a snog? Lecturers if I get a good mark? If these are the times we’re in, well so help me god. Less tiktok, what are we teaching our children?
If this is the “normalised” work environment in today, what should we expect when dating? Dating, we’re expecting to be wined and dined whilst we get to know what could be the “one”, right? Instead, we get d*** pictures, asked to drop our knickers, and in one particular guys words “I’ll kidnap you and force my way into you”. Sorry, whose son is this? Oxygen is wasted on you. You wonder why women are expected to call a friend halfway through a date just to confirm they’re not deceased just yet. What world are we living in? The warped reality of an offender on the sex offenders list? That’s what we call life, with a shrug of the shoulders.
One thing I’ve now learnt practicing celibacy, is that you can see predatory behaviour unfold before your eyes. The dark spirit in their eyes, where’s the candlelight gone? I’ve withdrawn what they feel is rightly theres for the taking. “Who do you think you are beholding me from what’s natural”. ‘You’re not normal’. ‘That’s control’. ‘You’re abnormal’. I’ve felt intense fury from the opposite gender that I won’t “give out”. Why does my choice infuriate you? The lack of control? Powerless that ‘sweet nothings’ won’t have me like ‘putty in your hands’. 9 months later, whose choice is it then? Oh wait, the choice was always mine. Indoctrination will never change a woman’s choice, but boy will it try.
Today, a great majority of men live in an alternate reality. The abuse of power has changed. It can be suited and booted, or look like the boy next door. As time evolves, so does manipulation. Look further than the everyday circle of life. What have you really chosen? What has been expected of you? The two look very similar, mute external voices for one second. If you wanted to change one major thing in your life or relationship, could that positively or negatively impact another party? Now ask yourself, why is that? Look deep within yourself and be undeniably honest. There’s your answer.
Many times, others are actively and currently gaining from us. We’re constantly making others happy like a hamster on a wheel. Some women rightly choose to have children either on their own or with a partner. Others are having children, whilst tugging their partners hand, constantly hinting at an engagement – perplexed why her hand is bare. Is this equality? Some give in, other’s do not. If I were to have a change of heart to save my emotional wellbeing and contentment by withdrawing the sexual component which is resulting in children or somewhat confusion regarding decision making in this scenario, what are you left with? Clarity, surely? Many times women and sometimes equally men also know, without sex, there’s nothing left. What happened to love? It was heavily reliant on sex.
There’s a gender imbalance in everyday life, why would you expect any different from a relationship? If anything it intensified right before your eyes but you’ve become so accustomed to it, it’s earned its own little label called ‘love’.
Years ago, we were expected to get married. Today we’re expected to move in together. Should I run your bath; change the nappy; wash your clothes or transfer half the rent? Seems like I’m doing both roles, so what are you even here for? Alexa, play “No Scrubs” by TLC.
Evolution, or so we’re told. Change is far from over. It’s time we take charge of our own lives, if not you, who?
What do you think? Have you been sexually objectified? What’s your take on equality? Comment below!
Beauty File 
I feel awkward as a male for being one of the first commenters … but I just wanted to thank you & say great post. Definitely needed said. My first thought when I saw the incident with the Spanish soccer official was to think to myself in what world would he thought that was normal, appropriate behavior. And for him to justify it after the fact. Just very sad. Shows how distorted things have gotten.
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Haha don’t feel awkward! It was unbelievable and indescribable. We as adults couldn’t believe it, never mind so many children would’ve been sat in front of their tv screens idolising the teams win, then thinking it’s ‘okay’ for a guy to kiss virtually every female player, specifically one on the lips. But then the Spanish team manager, who’s male – Ruis then opts not to go in for the kiss. Why not? He kissed everyone else on the lips / neck. 🤔
I would pinpoint when things got distorted in modern day society, but I think we’d be here all day!😂😂
So glad you’ve enjoyed this post, Brian! And thankyouu so much for commenting!🤗🤍
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I remember my mother once told me that when she was single, she once dated a member of the Ottawa Roughriders CFL Football 🏈 team.
He had apparently briefly served in the U.S. Marines before becoming a professional football player.
During his date with my mother, he boasted to her about his sexual conquests in various U.S. states.
He then said to my mother, “But I haven’t had any in Canada yet. Count yourself lucky to be the first.”
And my mother said to him, “I don’t care whether you’ve laid them from Maine to Montezuma. Your dink is in the Lone Star state tonight.”
And then left him, the table and the restaurant.
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Your mother sounds like a very wise lady! I don’t know why guys think this is what women want to hear. You’ve confirmed you just see us as a commodity and just another one of your conquests – “Ooh that’s another one for the tally chart.”.
These guys need some home truths, as I don’t know where they’ve worked up the confidence/arrogance to be so brazen.
I’m glad she left him to pay the bill too hehe!
Thankyouu so much for sharing!😃
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Thank you for this important, powerful and authoritative post. I’m very sorry for the way so many in my gender behave and how that makes women feel unsafe in the world. It must be horrible. As Brian said, it’s just very sad. Thanks for shining a bright light on the issues. 🙏🏼
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There are some wonderful polite men out there, it’s just become all too common to behave in such ways around women, it makes you wonder what their parents have taught them.
I do know some mothers almost encourage their sons to behave like playboys/bachelors then raise their daughters an entirely different way. It’s illogical, if we all raised of our sons to be free, wild and to not respect women, there’s no point teaching Jane for example, to not settle for any less than a gentleman.
Thankyouu Steve, so glad you’ve enjoyed reading this post!😃
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Thank you Antonia. On a related note, yesterday my youngest son (29) was over and regaling us with the bad behaviour he has to deal with from much younger men at work. I was aghast, but also so proud of him as he is such a good, kind man. That’s what we need more of. Not the disrespectful “dudebros.”
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Aw it sounds like you raised a respectful young man who’s self-assured, navigating away from the pressure to confirm. You need to release a parenting book, it’ll be a bestseller! I’ll buy it!😃
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That’s all very kind of you to say!
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Evolution-? More like DE-EVOLUTION…back into our supposed animal past! We’re going BACKWARD on this topic, not forward. Forward would be recognizing our sexual natures, while men and boys learn to respect and value women and girls as individuals in their own right, not just as toys or objects of conquest—and once she’s conquered, the guy moves on! I’ve gotten the dirty looks from women (one wasn’t-!) whose hair, etc., I noticed along the street. But also the positive joy of waiting with self control for the girl to decide she can trust me (been married 34 + years). I think morality and proper training of male behavior got tossed out the window somewhere, and fathers aren’t staying around to provide that. What say you to that?
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Definitely! It’s all down to choice, whereas in 2023, sadly there’s very limited choice as the vast majority are behaving in such explicit, casual ways it can be difficult to decipher what is then okay in the work environment or dating environment as they see women as a commodity. Indifferent of the lifestyle she chooses as it must be absurd, or they’ll be the one to “change you”. You hear it commonly when guys wish to inflate their ego by wanting to change a woman’s sexuality. And that she hasn’t met the right man to change her and show her what she’s ‘missing’🙄.
You’re right about fathers not staying around, but when fathers are there, the behaviour can be identical either way. The disrespect or almost hatred towards women is a deep rooted issue.
If you asked at least 75% of guys, they wouldn’t be able to define what respect and values are. Their answer would be ‘feminism’.
34+ years! Wow I need to write down these secrets haha! Aw that’s incredible🥹.
Thankyouu so much for sharing such insight as always, Jonathan!😃
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IT’S A PLEASURE ANTONIA.
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Thankyou so much🤍
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