Many, if not all of us will have some sort of regret. Minor or major, it’s something you wish time could turn back for, just for that one moment you could do differently. But, do regrets hold you back or urge you to proceed forward?
The walls in my house are very similar to paper, so you can literally hear a pin drop from another bedroom, and you think you have an invader in your home! So you can understand that when someone’s having a conversation, if it’s on the phone or whatnot, you can read between the lines, and fill in the gaps. I’m a master of that! So after overhearing and minding my own business, my mother was itching to have a conversation with myself, about how her mother, so my grandmother, keeps on bringing up “ancient” topics and reliving the past repeatedly…
What seems to affect my grandmother the most, is that she has dire regrets, and she can’t try and amend them as her parents are no longer with us. Simply, she wishes she told her father certain things that happened to her brother, so she told her mother at the time (would’ve been my great grandmother), but was advised strongly not to tell him. So it was not spoken of again. But now, she feels like everyone must know about the story, even if that means tarnishing other peoples fond memories about someone, even though they may already know. Simply, she wants everyone to feel her pain. And this is something that is haunting my grandmother more than ever. Why? I can only assume it’s because she feels like this is her last chance; it makes you wonder.
Do regrets hold you back? Almost all of us would’ve regretted something in our lifetime, and on many occasions we say “if only we could turn back time,” but is that a progressive way of thinking?
In a way, we’re bound to have regrets. If it’s about what career we should’ve chosen, what house to buy, or even something that may seem menial like a pair of shoes. But if we keep going down that road of “What if,” and “I should’ve..” you’ll find that it can apply to anything. This is when the snowball effect comes into action.
When will the feeling of regret not take over you? Would we set ourselves boundaries mentally about what things we won’t allow to torture us? No, as we are incapable of knowing what things to regret and what things to let go off, as they all begin to emerge under the same umbrella. Does regret ever do us good?
I think yes, it can urge us to know what opportunities we should’ve taken up, so we know how to accommodate for a future generation that you may bring into the world, or how to better handle a situation in the future. But even for those reasons, it can easily get toxic, us feeling like we know how the future should be planned out, as a personal regret can affect our panoramic judgement. Imagine, feeling like you’ve lived life and if you had a second chance at life, you’d know exactly what to do. But that’s unrealistic and upsets the complexity of the journey we call – life.
I think regrets can weigh heavily on our mind, and can almost feel like we’re carrying a substantial weight on our shoulders throughout the rest of our lives. But when do you say no to regrets? How can you stop yourself from feeling this way in the future, or maybe you already feel regretful, as if it’s you I’m writing this about.
Regrets can be a burden and the feelings can intensify with time. Especially, in an unprecedented period like now where everybody is living in isolation. But how does one completely abolish this feeling that one is almost bound to get, and for some can destroy and distort their view of the world?
Lastly, let me ask you this. If a world renowned health organisation were offering a drug, to completely wipe out regrets from the human mind, as who knows, maybe it’s a chemical imbalance that causes this feeling, would you accept the drug?
So what place does ‘regret’ have in your life? What effects do you think regret’s have? Would you accept a manmade cure? Comment below!