You push out the child, raise the child, provide financially and emotionally for the child… all the while having a “partner”. Why are women being taken for a ride? Is this what equality looks like?
Hi, my name’s Jack. I’m looking for a wife; has her head on straight; family orientated; career driven… but not too much so I feel inferior; not a party girl; looking to settle down and have a family. And me? What I bring to the table? Half the bills if you’re lucky. Whilst having free time to do as I please of course; freedom is important. Deal? Let me show you the door, this way!
What breed do we have amongst us? It’s like a deviant with limitless incentives. You want me to use the choo choo method on you too? The cohabitation ideology still has me cackling. Somehow, if you’re paying £1500 for rent prior to dating Vanessa, this opportunistic BOGOF mentality creates a half price deal meaning you save £750 pcm wrapped up in let me guess, lingerie? Best of both worlds. Here’s your cake, eat it with a cherry on top. I can see why men are living longer let me tell you, it’s a great time to be alive! Possibilities are endless!
Majority, if not all responsibilities have now been shifted on women to do not only one job, two, three – oh no, pretty much everything. Provide money, children, roof, clean, cook, maintain, be emotionally available, look presentable or we’ve let ourselves slip, after all, this is what we wanted when we marched for feminism. Sorry, what? Is this a vendetta? Revenge? Or is it simply jealousy / gender disparity taken to a whole new level? If you wanted to borrow my bra, all you had to do was ask.
I’ve witnessed the surge of women haters. That we’ve just been brought on this earth to “procreate” – charging me for the privilege of sharing the same oxygen as you. After all, financially I’m providing your freedom. Times are tough, but technically I’m reducing your outgoings to 50%, whilst juggling a current or potential family. My plate is overflowing, whilst you’ve shed 50% additional responsibilities onto my plate, off of yours. Is that what love is today? Do me a favour, get me a two for one deal from the corner shop, don’t forget to divide the receipt on your way home. I’ve lit a candle to keep the romance alive. I’d need a few more gas cylinders to keep us going for life, I’ll leave your share of the invoice on the bedside table. Expand the family, should I ask the baby if it can contribute one third, or wait until it can babble at least?
How about if you take the nappy you’ve outgrown to your mothers to change.
If you want equal, fair and square expecting nothing to change and for everything to stay the exact same, stay single. As realistically, man or woman, sharing your life together usually does leave you financially worse off than being single. You go out more, pay for more whilst also enjoying more, indulging in more experiences, creating memories – a foundation for eternity. Or permanently glue a calculator to your empty hand whilst you lovingly hold her hand with the other, just like you see in the movies! I hope you can sense my sarcasm.
Grow up. You shouldn’t even be looking at women with that obscene, bargain basement mentality. Unless you want a like for like of course. But no, you’re on your tip-toes reaching for fine wine. You couldn’t even afford the bottle, never mind the contents.
Buy a mirror the size of your ego and take a good hard look in it. You’ll see a so-called man, many are partially-sighted to, as ladies with standards don’t sell themselves short to a soft, Rice Krispie which can’t even snap, crackle and pop without a woman paying for the additional sound effects.
If you cannot potentially provide for a family, why look in the direction of a woman; cap in hand?! No woman should worry about bills when bringing a life into this world or going back to work within the first few months just to put basic essential food on the table and keep the water running. What is your role? Providing sperm? Please exist the chat. And take your milk bottle with you since you mirror a baby. Or did you get yours jumbled up? If only I were surprised!
A woman’s money is additional, not breathing space for you to account for or usurp. There’s no cashback offer here. That’s the difference between a man and boy. You step up, or don’t step in the direction at all. This unfortunate strategy like an ATM, you invest in the first few dates to only keep withdrawing. Such a blissful partnership.
Lastly, it comes down to choice, your choice. Listen to your gut and beliefs. It’s important for women to listen to what they want for themselves and not be swayed by the opposing gender for example to question her beliefs, role, wants, desires to simply be in sync with a guy’s perspective. Unplanned pregnancies are still in existence, no contraception is 100% unless you practice celibacy. As the parent carrying the baby more often than not, it’s paramount you’re happy, stable, respected and listened to as a priority. Not the latter end of a chain reaction. Second guessing or regrets in life is not something that we strive to have so be present and look to the future, most importantly your future and that will guide you to a better outcome for you and co. Sometimes in life, it’s better to be a little selfish as in time if you choose to be a mother, it’s the start of a forever selfless journey. Make the right choices now, not after when choices have been made for you.
I love you, but you’re in arrears with me. Direct debit or standing order preferable?
Relationships are about supporting one another and communicating. Not voicing expectations while laying down ground rules. The difference is clear.
What do you think? What do you believe? What’s worked for you? What’s the secret to a happy family? Comment below!
Beauty File 
Wow! 😬😮
That was quite the diatribe!! 😉 Sounds like some unresolved issues have been subconsciously breaking through! Although I can’t dispute that there are more of those types of men out there these days… It’s sad really! But this is what we get as a society when the children are taught that everyone is a winner, and that the government is there to tell you what you need and when you need it rather than being taught that life is hard, it requires work to be successful at anything you choose to do, be it an adult relationship where you need to consider your partner’s feelings and or needs and equality when it comes to child rearing, or earning a wage that will support you and a potential family/spouse. It’s not all about you, though if you read many of the social media sites, it’s all about how to serve yourself better rather than how to be a happy and productive member of society by giving back and load sharing when it comes to work or chores or even being a part of a social club. You are required to do your part!! Period! End of Sentence!!
But that said… it’s not just men that have this flaw. Women also are prone to such character flaws and short comings.
You are so right, in my opinion. Both parties have to give and share equally in any relationship, for when there is not communication and understanding of each others needs and expectations there are going to many misunderstandings and hard feelings of one-sidedness and disappointment. So… yes be careful your choices and don’t give up. There are a few of us good men out there that want to share in everything good and bad, for that is the spice of life! You can never experience joy if you’ve never experienced sadness, sadness tells you what joy is and joy tells us what sadness is. Otherwise it would all be the same emotion! I don’t know about you, but I like to know when I’m happy and when I’m sad, rather than just existing.
What do you feel about that?? 😉😁🤗💫
I’ll be watching and reading
Dusty 🤠
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Really😂 it wasn’t meant to be!
It’s my opinion based on numerous researches and experiences I’ve heard others go through.
The saying “it takes a village to raise a child”, seems non-existent or the meaning is diluted to the point it’s invisible. Often, it is women that are expected to do it all. With the additional of external judgement and indoctrination that they’re not doing enough. It’s a never ending race to fulfilment, not for yourself but for others. Your partner is meant to be your closest confidant, but often it can feel as though they’re just another payee listed on your bank account.
Additionally how career-women are generally praised, where’s homemakers are seen as doing pittance and the easier option is absurd. It’s become normalised to automatically prefer your child being in a nursery rather than their own parent (mother or father usually) taking care of them. Even when families have the financial freedom. It’s looked down upon in society and that the woman almost needs to get a life. Motherhood and fatherhood but regarding this topic, specifically motherhood has been entirely disregarded as not contributing to society. When to some, it’s the most important and rewarding job in the world.
It’s for women to have the choice as to what they’d prefer to do if they opt to become mothers, it’s not for society or partners to assume their role or pressure them into feeling like Jane down the role can do it all, why can’t you? That’s a toxic mentality which many times simmer for a long time, then it takes one day to have enough. Divorce rates are high, we must wonder why that is?
Communication and expectations are a lot to do with the ceasing of marriages.
It’s also about listening to both women and men, but precisely women in this conversation due to the attention and understanding dramatically favouring fathers currently, rather than mothers where it’s almost like they’re seen but not heard.
You’re right in terms of men’s role can be ignored when they shouldn’t be. Equally we shouldn’t need to praise men for sticking around in their children’s lives as they’re just as much there’s as they are the mothers, whereas women don’t get praise for not being “deadbeat”, it’s again another societal expectation due to gender roles. They count when people want them to. But if we talk about the problem as a whole, it’s seen as vitriolic almost when it’s simply an open conversation.
Statistics also state when people co-habit before marriage the divorce rates are higher. There will be many reasons why, but one overtime will be lack of communication and that cohabitation became a bit stale overtime and that marriage seemed colourful, new and sparkly. Cohabitation many times is based on a financial agreement. If half the bill isn’t paid, where does love amount to there? There’s not much teamwork as you’re very much independently highlighting that you’re two separate parties living in one building and many times intimately involved. The emotional instability regarding intimacy and a direct debit agreement almost overtime can make marriage seem blissful and that you’re on the same team without such clinical terms of paying your lover the same time each month. But it may just plaster over the pre-existing fractures!
Thankyouu so much for reading, commenting and sharing your insight!!🤗🤍
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This is a very interesting blog. Do you know that every time you write, I am learning something new about you. Frankly, I would like for you to read my essay called Cohabitation vs Traditional Marriage. It has the same exact writing style as your blog right now. It varies where you live in the United States because women here are very respectful until you show them different. I know that inside of my hometown of Dayton, Ohio, relationships have changed a whole lot. It reminds you of the Cost of Living Index in the United States. Also, women tend to run the entire household where I come from. Perhaps, men tend to have bad credit and a poor job rating. I am an Author & Blogger, so I am on my own because of a bad marriage from 1989-1990. Therefore, things have changed a whole lot in 34 years. God is still in the Blessing Business!! Today is my #59th Birthday. I am happy to live to see it. I am too blessed to be stressed!! Thank you for reading my comments.
Faithfully Submitted,
Anthony Joseph Hopkins
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Aw thankyouu, Anthony! I’ll definitely give it a read as there’s a vast difference between the two isn’t there!
I’m so sorry for my late reply, happy belated birthday Anthony! Hope you had such a blessed day filled with happiness and joy!!
You’re more than welcome, thankyouu ever so much for reading what I write too!!🤗🤍
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It’s troubling how entitled, male-dominated and society relies so heavily on the nurture and support of women (as if trying to perpetuate the always-present, always-picking-up-after-them mom), yet the same men often treat women in despicable ways as if they’re property.
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This is so true. It’s almost a double-edged sword for women whereas for men, the options are limitless. When picking a partner, women have to weigh up the potential strain and additional societal expectations of what they may be signing themselves up to, whereas for men many times their burdens either vanish or are halved.
Janet Street Porter recently said regarding marriage in regards to her experiences, is when she’d want to eat earlier in the evening for example, whereas her husband would preferably eat later. She’d find herself slicing the 1,000th onion it felt like whilst he’s watching the tv thinking what has she done with her life. Deja vu.
Compared to situations where men often have their needs met, marriage does benefit men far more than women. Why are professional women made to feel this way? A mixture between a 1950’s wife and career driven woman? Best of both worlds. What role is he having? More times than not, it’s women who leave the marriages statistically, not men. Reason being that many times men get comfortable with these dynamics, whereas women can feel like time is passing by, tired, unfulfilled, invisible and this is all her life seems to be.
What time do women get to watch the tv after work for example? If a guy begins to lose weight or look drawn, friends would comment “are you eating well? Isn’t your wife feeding you enough?” Whereas if a woman loses weight, she’s told she looks better than ever.
Where is equality there? It’s an impossible narrative set, unless you make clear expectations prior to relationships, partnerships or marriage, it can fall into the same doomed pattern.
Partnership here is key. Listen to what makes you happy, vice versa. If that doesn’t align, zoom out and evaluate if the wider picture is viable.
Thankyouu so much, Steve for sharing your insight!!🤗🤍
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Thanks so much, Antonia, for your thoughtful response to my comment. I agree 100% with everything you’ve said.
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very interesting read. In 2018 I broke my engagement because my then partner wanted me to split the bills 50/50. Prior to us meeting I have been on my owe since the age of 30. When I met him I was 55, having put my through college, always worked two jobs to maintain my life. I was insulted that I was asked to split bills..I am 60 back out on my own and totally self sufficient..it’s difficult but not going to split bills.
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Did you really? Savage but I love it and you were so right!! I do believe people only ask their partners for 50/50 if they’re not that worried about their partner opposing and walking away. Almost like they’re unfazed and it’s a test. If she does agree to it, it sets the foundation for the rest of the relationship or marriage, whereas if she objects, I’d have to really like her to accommodate her beliefs. Many times though, the 50/50 is a mentality already crafted for us, it’s not teamwork or choice when it’s an expectation. As Tina Turner says, ‘What’s love got to do with it?’. I had this mentioned to me not so long ago, it wasn’t even a question, it was a presumption and as I wasn’t going to play ball, it escalated into obscene, purposefully chosen belittling terminologies and words being said to me. Which progressed into rage and emotional abuse, propelled in my direction. You realise they were simply setting the precedent of what’s to come, which would have been them calling the shots.
It’s very important for a guy to honour and respect you. If he doesn’t, we just enable them to steamroll our entire existence, values and beliefs.
It is insulting, beyond that. I don’t know how people can switch on their emotional side when intimacy comes into play, then almost switch it off when you MUST set up a standing order or direct debit to their account for simple things like the water bill😂.
If a guy ever even contemplates saying “You expect a roof over your head for free?” – RUN!
It’s an all too common incel type mentality, they wish to wear down a woman to make themselves feel more empowered and masculine. You wonder why a high majority of women suffer from burnout? Men aren’t men nowadays, all I can say is your behaviour says a lot about how you were raised! Parents should bow down their head in shame if their son has this belligerent, entitled mentality.
No man should be calculating a woman’s money, period. My experience when a guy said, “in marriage, if we’re a team, I should be able to take all of your money and sort out a part of the house and not even need to ask you or pay it back. As what’s yours is mine…” when I objected, it’s because ‘I’m selfish’. Not that you’re a manbaby already planning to usurp a woman’s money. Delusional!
I always say, prepare to be alone as a woman nowadays, as I’d rather be in my yard than pay a grown man for companionship. Don’t even approach me if you don’t know how to treat a woman.
Thankyouu so much for sharing your phenomenal insight!!🤗🤍
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I love this comment. Very detailed, informative and true. Thank you for taking the time to leave this insightful comment
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You are welcome 😊 🙏 🤗
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