The majority of us without hesitation would say no. Utterly and completely, why would you? But the question is, why wouldn’t you?
Before even dating someone, we chat to our friends/family about cheating/bad experiences. We listen, and always say I’d never take them back if that happened to me. Especially when we’re young we think, one mistake and I’m out of there. But then when you start dating, fall in love, leaving your partner can seem like a very distant thought, or even impossible. Plus the possibility of them doing you wrong in any way, seems unimaginable. But then when your worst nightmares come true, what do you do?
We’re so hurt, processing “how could he/she do this to me”. But we’re still very much emotionally attached. We can’t switch our feelings off like a flick of a switch. The shock of it all is enough never mind anything else. Except how many of us go back? I know some people feel afraid of going into the unknown, and being single. The saying ‘better the devil you know’ frequently occurs in everyday life, especially relationships. The counter saying ‘a leopard never changes it’s spots’ is also very valid. But which is true?
I’ve always said I’d never take back a cheat or an ex, as they say ‘it’s an ex for a reason’ but the older I get, and the more I realise, reality isn’t always as easy and blissful as how I expected it to be, I think it really does depend on the situation. However, if you’re in an abusive or toxic relationship, never go back. They will never change, and your life is worth so much more than them treating you in disturbing, unspeakable ways. Once a man (or woman) lays a finger on you, they’re able to do anything. Back to the subject I’m on..
It sounds so easy just to say leave or don’t take him/her back, but the reality of it can be very different. Let’s say if you get married and build a family, ultimately in many marriages people heads may turn or more may happen. The question is would you leave the person who you built your life and children with, at the drop of a hat? Even if they did the worst? I think it’s a tough one. I’d like to think I would, but I guess once you have children and so on, life becomes very complex. It isn’t as easy as when you’re in your ‘prime years’ as they say. When someone does wrong, what really is there to stay for? Apart from your emotions telling you otherwise.
It’s a strange thing when you get married, even though it’s supposedly the happiest day of your life, it’s also the beginning of the rest of your life. You’re making vows such as “for better or for worse” and “till death do us part”. Such powerful promises to make. Of course saying those vows you don’t think about your partner doing you wrong, but you can’t speak for the future. Also, once you’re married, you can’t really get up and leave, if you do want to end the marriage, it’s a long drawn out legal process. Occasionally, leaving both husband and wife to get back together, and that’s one of the reasons they don’t allow you to legally end the marriage easily, as they want you to try and work things out. Divorce isn’t easy, and can be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, and that can be the reason why some people won’t go through it even if they’re going through the ringer. The emotional turmoil isn’t appealing for many, and walking into the unknown, can be a scary thing. You question whether you’ll ever find someone again, and if you have children, its a whole different story. Would a guy accept me and them? Would my children like him? Would you want your children seeing another man as a possible father figure? But for some, being in a marriage you’re far from happy in, divorce can seem like a blessing in disguise.
I don’t think it’s an easy question to answer, but maybe it is for you? What do you think? Have you ever taken back an ex? What would you do in a situation? Comment below!