When I tell you this couldn’t have gone any worse; you couldn’t write it! This includes food being spilt on me, to defunct designer shoes from a very well known retailer, listed below..
My 23rd birthday. My 22nd was spent in lockdown, with a nando’s takeaway. So this birthday was going to be an unforgettable one. Going all out, but someone up there had other ideas..
First stop was Piccolino. This was probably the worst restaurant experience I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve been a regular diner in this specific branch of Piccolino for a while, and even though their food has never been phenomenal or life-changing, it’s usually good. This experience changed my life for all the wrong reasons. Drinks arrive. The waiter lifting the drinks from his tray, spills some on the opposite side to where I was sitting. So my fellow diner. He apologised profusely, went to retrieve some napkins and cleaning spray, and sorted out the error. All was well-ish.
Starters arrive, Only one calamari and ravioli arrived when we ordered two calamari. Notified a waiter, he ordered another calamari, arrived almost at the very end of eating both starters. and the ‘garlic mayo’ tasted old, or like an entirely different sauce. Whatever I had wasn’t garlic mayo, I can tell you that!
Time between starters and main, 55 minutes. Oh and to round off this complete joke of an experience, when the waiter was picking up the plates and cutlery from the starters, I watch his poor attempt at picking these up. Now, The plates were already placed on top of eachother, and the cutlery was already on top of the small stack of plates organised out of politeness by us to make his job easier, so what was all the difficulty about? The work was done for him. I saw this in slow motion, no effort was made by him to cleanly retrieve the plates and cutlery, he simply didn’t care. I could tell by his slow movements, almost like he saw me as a huge tablecloth he could throw rubbish at. Anyway, he’s still making this simple task look like mission impossible right in front my eyes, then I see the knife leave the plate and drop onto the table near the edge closest to me and fall right on my top, jeans, oh then the floor. Furious didn’t even cut it. If I wanted to get dirty, I’d cook at home for free!
As you know, oil and tomato stains, imagine if I had a satin/silk outfit on?! No excuse. I’m fuming.
He didn’t even apologise, no offer of napkins, or anything. He simply didn’t care. So during this long 55 minute late, my face throughout looked like a wet weekend, on purpose. I wasn’t going to let other passerby’s or diners think I’m having great time when in fact, this has been the worst service I’ve ever had the misfortune of experiencing. My face must’ve looked like it was sucking on a sour lemon permanently, in all honesty I made sure I had a stern look. I was so over dining here, I wanted my bill reduced or waived, and just felt like walking out even before the mains arrived.
Who waits an hour in between starters and mains?! I see fellow diners looking at my face, can’t I look into empty space? Am I shouting? Swearing? Even causing a nuisance? No. But my face says all that and more without even frowning, I have one of those faces when I want to. Call me, Paddington.
So we ask the waiter, where’s the main course? He assured us it’s been ordered, but funnily enough, 2 minutes after asking, abracadabra the food comes out. It’s sea bass, I also ordered rosemary potatoes with garlic. The potatoes arrive 10 minutes after the fish. Inside I was furious, my face was the sternest face you’ve seen in your life. It was clear the ambience in the area of the restaurant I was sat in had changed. More people were leaving etc staff could tell my face didn’t look happy, so they ask each table around if everything’s okay? They all must’ve responded with ‘fine.’ Then the woman walks away before reaching my table, I was just getting ready to open my mouth. Then, she comes back and asks my table, if everything’s okay, something along those lines. I unleash, being straight to the point, I reply, “The service has been appalling”. I listed only some of what’s happened in this one experience, it’s my birthday etc. There weren’t even napkins or cutlery on the table as the waiter couldn’t bother to relay the table between courses. So the woman apologises, then asks, “Would you like napkins now?” I reply, “Well the times well and truly passed, but the whole table has no napkins or cutlery as you can see, so I imagine so?”. She relays the table. Then 10 minutes after another woman comes, asks how things are as she’s heard blah blah blah, I say again, service has been appalling etc, she apologises and rambles on. Walks away, I thought, if this establishment thinks they can get away with this and charge me full price, they’re insane. Oh and the food was lacking in every department. So she returns to the table and says she’s taken some items away from the bill and hope this helps make up for the experience. I thought in my head, it doesn’t as I’ll remember this, but it’s a discount off this overpriced rubbish so I’m not gonna refuse. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted dessert, did I make it that obvious I wasn’t happy? NEVER AGAIN! It was still £70 for the privilege, including the so called discount.
Day after, my main present arrives. I’m so excited for this, I wasn’t home for the delivery so had to collect it from a shop around 45 minutes away by car from where I was. Long, but worth it. I know they’re Louboutin’s so I couldn’t get there and back fast enough to try them on, see if they fit etc. Back home, open the box from HARRODS, I repeat, HARRODS. I open the outer box, woo woo so excited, I see the Christian Louboutin box, looks absolutely tiny but that’s besides the point, I could still burst with joy. I lift up the shoe box lid, and as soon as I take the shoe out I see an ‘X’. On the patent leather. Let me go into further detail, These shoes are £545, ridiculous I know, I’d never pay that but it’s an insanely generous gift. The infamous red soles. Imagine, this ‘X’ is on the front of the shoe. How much more obvious could it get?! It’s like I’ve been branded. Upon closer inspection, there’s damage even to the red soles! I could not BELIEVE THIS. I can’t even exchange it, because Harrods do not accept exchanges, only returns. Absolute scamps. And the drama to send it back, I can’t even explain, but I can confirm it’s on its way and off my hands, thank goodness!
I’m starting to wonder if so called Harrods is just a market stall down a dark, alleyway!
So all in all, my birthday was frustrating in more ways than one, but away from those 2 experiences, nothing could wipe this smile off my face. And boy did it come close. Why? Because I knew I’d be happy even without the gifts and dinner as there’s endless things to be grateful for in life. Now could I have been happier? Haha that’s a conversation for another day!
Hope you’ve enjoyed this post! I feel lighter getting it off my chest, the series of unfortunate events. How was your last birthday? Do you have any horror birthday stories? Comment below, I’d love to hear them!