Manners, kindness and decency seem like they should be a distant memory. What are we teaching our children?
‘Your standards are too high.’ ‘You’re too harsh’. ‘You have hands, do it yourself.’ Or simply the classic one, ‘You didn’t say.’ Just a few of the statements I’ve heard repeatedly in my adult life. Maybe I’m asking for too much? Lower my expectations, everyone’s different. Be understanding. Tell them what they should be doing. Who should I sit down and give this talking down to, you or your mother? Inclusivity requires me to say father or carer, but if your mother’s alive and kicking, and was present when you were brought you up by whichever parent, women have first hand experience in basic non-negotiables that a lot of women expect and appreciate.
Basic etiquette; nothing more, nothing less.
Dependent on whom you’re displaying these acts of kindness to, some may not appreciate it. But until they tell you they don’t, why assume? That little action could be highly influential to what your future will look like.
Children below the age of 10, swearing in their clique; their parents mimicking the way you walk or even the length of my hair. Yes, it’s as ridiculous and petty as it sounds. Where does such disrespect come from? Many times, it’s parental. And the extent of where this disrespect can end up is nothing short of sickening. So why would you expect any better from adults? They’re products of their environment. And when that environment is ghastly, they’re hardly going to come out smelling of roses. Do the thorns count?
I’ve had it all, going out for dinner in 4 inch heels, just about staying upright and not falling flat on my face. Only to see the chair firmly tucked underneath the table, weighing a ton. To then, notice my fellow diner go straight to his seat, sit himself down, and stare straight in my direction. I couldn’t believe the situation I was in, I felt like walking out there and then! So I attempt to shift the chair out, whilst standing on my tiptoes, I wish I was exaggerating. I heard it drag on the flooring and I thought phew thankfully that’s over, only to realise it barely moved. I then state loudly, “Oh wow this chair is very heavy,” could my hint have been any clearer? Only for them to look on, with no reply or no movement out of their seat. I thought they applied superglue to their chair prior to sitting. Long story short I had to kick it out with my calf, which was oh so lady-like. I think you can tell how that date ended! Compliments mean nothing if your actions say everything.
When you’re arriving anywhere, whether that’s in a coffee shop or even a park bench. If on arrival, your fellow diner doesn’t make any attempt to stand to be gracious, staying seated to keep his seat warm… Goodbye. You think I’d ever envision you being any type of material other than bare minimum polyester? Husband material is 100% cashmere, don’t get it twisted. Or should I say blended? If you get the joke, comment below.
Treat people how you wish to be treated. Ensuring they get back safely via text or call, these may see very small, minor gestures. But they show a warmth in your heart, that you’re kind, and that you care about their wellbeing and safety. You can never be too mannerly, especially if you’re trying to impress. No amount of aftershave can conceal a bad attitude.
And anytime someone shows me that they’re unpleasant and not mannerly, the first person I don’t think highly of is obviously you. And a very close second is your mother. As many times, they’re the most aware of how their child is if they’re in their life. Often, they know and may even manipulate the vital roles they have in their child’s lives, especially sons. And I’ve even heard first hand, mothers talk about how they were courted by their husband, and almost encourage their sons to be like ‘lads’ and treat women like they’re an inanimate object, only to fulfil your desires, full stop. Do I look like gameboy?
Interestingly enough, I’ve also noticed mothers get very uncomfortable, like a cobra spitting out venom, if they feel as though their role in their son’s life is diminishing. Even ever so slightly from them simply caring for a woman, they get overly tense and worried, almost like the spotlight on their “no.1 woman” in their child’s life is ever so slightly dimming, possibly even flickering. I’ve heard from a mother saying to me, now she knew I baked (very well I might add), let’s call her son’s name ‘Charles’. His mother gloated repeatedly, “I make the best chocolate cake, everyone thinks so. Charlie loves it. Charlie loves my apple pie, always asks me to make it, his favourite part is the pastry, isn’t it Charlie?”, his mother said. Then Charles, or Charlie like mummy calls him replies, “Oooh I do love the pastry mum”. And no, he wasn’t 20 years old, he was a mid-thirties grown man, on reflection I should’ve checked the birth certificate..
Some mothers enable and encourage the disrespect to a certain degree as they know it’ll make the woman run a mile. This can be for numerous reasons, if she’s single and afraid of losing her son as her closest confidant? Or also it can happen when their mother is ‘blissfully’ married but scared of her son having his own life potentially long-term, as he’s closer to her than her own husband, petrified of being confronted of the reality of the marriage she’s in, after 40 years or so of having kids who are adults as the distraction.
Mothers and fathers are equally important in a childs life, but if you’re a mummy’s boy, that’s where the blame rests…
Children are an extension of you. Raising them to be the best versions of themselves. Being selfless to enrich your children with values and etiquette that lasts a lifetime is the most fruitful gift you can give them and it costs nothing. If you don’t teach your children the fundamental lessons in life, when they have their own family the lack of values and disrespect will continue for generations. Is that what you’d want?
Your legacy is crafted by the actions you make in life. Change starts with you.
What do you think? Do you think people are getting more or less mannerly? Who do you think is to blame? Do you have any horror stories? Comment your thoughts below!
Beauty File 
Excellent posting which to me falls under the heading of “morality and decent human behavior.” You actually speak to the heart of what I had to write about late yesterday!
One of my grandmothers used to tell us all growing up that if the children are rude and getting into trouble she blames the mothers because proper behavior and decent manners start at home and it’s a mother’s duty to instill the right qualities in her children. Now that is “the old fashioned folks” talking and she was that in spades; if she saw how things are done today she would be beside herself and very sad.
I can say that the world has gotten way too tricky and complicated and it’s all par for the course as we move into a more artificial cyber-minded world! I remember not that many years ago before Big Tech if people were phonies and selfish users or abuses they were referred to as “plastic people,” say for example in Los Angeles some years back when I lived there. But now, OMG the digital cyber pretend world has absorbed people’s minds making reckless moronic ninnies out of far too many of them! What happens to one of them if you extract them out of that cocoon like fantasy realm without their smartphone with apps and insert them into a real time, real world of hardship and challenge, what will ya get; I can only imagine some sort of gobbledygook!
OK, so where am I heading with this rant, I see the problem as much huger than what grandma was thinking back then and what I see is a bizarre world unfolding, one in which the mindset is being established by not only this digital cyber fake realm but those engineering madmen or those sinister schemers behind the curtains, because it’s not harmless and so innocent as some people actually want us to believe! It’s beyond propaganda and into “mass delusion or formation psychosis” and mind control on steroids, just look at what happened around the planet for the “Covid Death” with a typical actual real time survival rate of 99.98%; I mean come on the CIA and other so called government agencies that are supposed to protect the citizenry are also involved in manipulating them all, to “Control!”
We have grown and changed into a world where “indifference and lack of respect” are a given because people aren’t only becoming “plastic and phony” but they are becoming “alien” to what humanity was intended to be in the first place! I can setup and example of what I’m referring to with the at times polar opposing subject of abortion. As I see it this is a subject that is cut and dry and humans should not destroy an innocent life which is a great affront to God to me on the level of human sacrifice; albeit in abortion a “sacrifice to the modern way of thinking and lifestyle of doing it my own way;” that selfish thing rearing its head! Well, not to burst any bubbles, but, it comes down to not getting pregnant in the first place so that is a huge responsibility to consider by both the woman and the man; just like my mommy and daddy taught me as a child “not to play with matches or fire” because “I will get burned!” We people if we are truly honest with ourselves can see the blatant levels of sheer disrespect in this upside-down world today and it only seems to be getting worse! Figure if people are willing to totally disrespect that little innocent life in the womb and not take the responsibility for having started it in the first place; to me that speaks volumes of what is wrong in people’s heads, hearts and souls!
So I went on this bent because just yesterday I received an email from an organization “Students for Life” comprised of some very sensible, caring younger women and men who are many of them college student who are doing a very fine job of promoting the good that I say is so lacking or dissipating rapidly in this world today. So on that note I can admit there is hope and for that matter as long as we are breathing “there is always hope!” We have to and should always at least give it our best shot and “try our best because this is a test,” as mom told us all from a young age! Which does go to prove what Grandmother said was true it’s the success or failure of the mother in the home if the children are doing the right or wrong thing in public. I sure didn’t go off the rails nor did my siblings; so we have mom and grandma to thank for sure!
Sorry for the long winded spiel but this “lack of respect and immorality” is way out of control in the world these days and heading to hell in a hand basket; so as I see it we all need to talk about it more often, but then put our words into action and change the paradigm!
So here is what I had to write and say in regard to that email from the Pro-Life group which was sent out stating how some very sad and scary developments came up.
I won’t mince words because it’s reached the boiling point as far as I’m concerned with the “Deplorable” most heinous Hillary speaking the way she is in this regard to Pro-Life advocacy! She is a vile and extremely dangerous person fanning the flames of hostility and hate while our DOJ is obviously wicked to allow this kind of instigating threatening rhetoric and behavior to transpire here in America! This can only mean that while the Media and many of our government officials are being this biased and incredibly immoral or hostile in regard to this matter; this can only mean that the system is not only out of whack, but is also blatantly out of control!
Planned Parenthood and these off the rails government officials both present and former one’s are derelict and absolutely sinister; I would add in my own eyes they are diabolical when they allow a radical terrorist group like Jane’s Revenge to threaten extreme violence with guns which is an outright ominous threat of murder and mayhem, fomenting severe civil violence, and so every one of those individuals in that organization should be arrested and prosecuted for domestic terrorism!
Planned Parenthood and most if not all of the abortionists call it healthcare which it absolutely is not; real healthcare would be proper enlightenment and education coupled with instilling a sense of morality and conscience in individuals when it comes to relationships that have the capacity to produce a pregnancy, a huge responsibility, which turns out with too many individuals as being the first stumbling block that leads to failure by persons who must ultimately take responsibility for their actions or suffer the consequences for not doing so; all of us must take responsibility for our own actions! But as it turns out with far too many people this “miracle of procreation” for them becomes the selfish act of only looking to sweep it all under the carpet as the saying goes, by taking an innocent human being’s life, in order to bury their own guilt and failure of “morality and decent human behavior!”
This atmosphere is producing multitudes of incredibly reckless and immoral human beings who become more destructive with each passing year to the point where they can no longer see reality, or what is “just and proper;” as we now witness with a group like Jane’s Revenge! But making this exponentially worse is the biased media and corrupted government establishment promoting this debauchery; and to me it’s not unlike what the Communist Cultural Revolution did in China during the time of Mao. This is a “Revolution” and everything is at stake! So I leave with this great quote that fits our time to a “T.”
George Orwell quote: “In times of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act”.
Brother in Christ Jesus,
Lawrence Morra III
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Thankyou so much for sharing your viewpoint in such detail! I agree that there’s more at play here, the issue is far greater than just ‘mummy dearest’. Society today, has a lot to answer for and I’d say the majority don’t see the varying, many times misleading or biased information sold to us, whether that’s to do with manners or the numerous topics highlighted.
If everyone thought independently and respectfully, the world would be a much better place. Unfortunately, some only digest what they’re forced fed!
Your broad knowledge and fine tuning always has my mind ticking over, which is most welcome might I add!😃
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Hello Antonia!
Yes indeed you’re spot on here and thanks for the vote of confidence as I do tend to go overboard without a doubt; sometimes when I get going there’s no telling where it may lead! That said though, sometimes the end result was worthwhile after all, because a good in depth conversation was needed anyway which ultimately can open up channels of communication and some worthwhile unexpected surprises; meaningful dialog as I see it is never a waste of time, but, just not when one is too tired or busy to get that involved. 🙄
That is great what you just said here, because just this morning I was thinking how our governments and news agencies have been clamping down on we citizens with this malarkey, so much about nothing really, in regard to misinformation or disinformation which to me is a roundabout way of saying it’s not the “Approved Propaganda,” because that is what you are honing in on when you state; “misleading or biased information sold to us, whether that’s to do with manners or the numerous topics highlighted.” Perfectly said and really what has become the underlying problem throughout society causing so much strife and confusion, that sadly has led to more derision and even hate among the populace. And now sadly it’s not just in the nations with historically tyrannical or totalitarian style of governments but even throughout the planet as we all just witnessed for the last three years up close and personal with few exceptions.
Again you are so right about how people would do themselves and everyone around them so much more good, if first they would apply “respect” and then not allow themselves to be led by “mob or herd mentality,” but, “rather thinking thinks through carefully as an individual,” to “discern” with the thinking capacity that God created us with; and you may laugh but Mummy again, as I do recall did say to us when we were in the growing up curve, “to Reason it out” and Dad would add “think before you act.” 😂
Hey Antonia, I really like this you got me thinking, “fine tuning always has my mind ticking over;” because you’re saying that to me got me thinking or picturing how it’s like “precision clockwork” and though none of us are perfect we can surely try our best to keep things on track by staying alert to the facts whilst making any necessary adjustments or “fine tuning” when needed along the way, in order to have a more harmonious situation!
Excellent thought provoking piece of work here Antonia, which I must say I do appreciate and respect; thank you very much! 😃
See you later! 😉👍 🙏
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I soooooo agree with this post! I used to feel overwhelmed by the lack of manners and respect I see around me. And worse than the lack of it, the fact that men who still display some of these traits are berated for it! I take comfort in trying to be the change I want to see. I make a point of saying ‘Good morning/ afternoon’ to people I pass on the way to work or in the street, especially people who are older than me and I encourage my son to do the same. I am also always openly thankful to anyone who demonstrates gentlemanly qualities like holding a door for me etc. I have found that this helps, if nothing else, at least I’m setting a high standard for my family and the people around me.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
I don’t get it either, why the term ‘gentleman’ is pretty much forbidden. Like it’s a dirty word with dark connotations. Everyone – male or female should have basic manners, and kind gestures can make you go much further in life, as no one likes spending time with a bull in a china shop!
If you say good morning / afternoon, people look at you like you’ve gone mad! It’s simple decency as you mentioned that can make a difference in someone’s day, instead of feeling entirely invisible. I think they need to start advertising this and pleasantries in everyday life, as clearly it’s not being taught by some.
Your son’s going to mature into a fine young man having such a great role model!
Thankyouu so much for sharing your insight!🤗🤍
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I know what you mean about mothers going out of their way if they feel their roles in their sons’ lives is diminishing. My mother certainly went out of her way to make the women I dated feel uncomfortable and small.
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That’s so interesting that you picked up on that happening, I wonder what your mother’s reasoning was. Maybe that none of the women were ever good enough for her son, in her eyes? That’s the common term used!🤔
Thankyouu so much for sharing your insight and being so honest! Have a very happy holidays!😁🎄⛄️🎁✨
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Good evening, Antonia. Short answer, yes, manners are worse. There you have it, and you’ve avoided all the blah, blah, blah.
Now, if you’re curious, and it’s gratifying you are, you know bemoaning “kids these days” is a venerated human tradition. We’ve been doing so ever since we drew mammoths on cave walls. Besides, we’re far too young to start our stories with “in my day,” right? Maybe not.
It hardly takes a stickler to notice how coarse and vulgar we’ve become. In more senses than one. This is because modern society instructs everyone to be self-centered. Each of us is certain it’s all about him. The universe exists solely to gratify me right now, because I’m the best.
I use the masculine object intentionally because, alas, rudeness is a male trait. Far, far from always, unfortunately, but more often than not. Why should I worry about anyone else? They’re just getting in the way of my good time. This explains bad manners generally, and the man-child’s failure to launch specifically.
To mitigate this selfishness, society would find humility to be beneficial. Understand there are many things bigger, more important, and more permanent than each of us. Realize our noblest purpose is to advance civilization. Appreciate the billions before us who built what we enjoy today and aspire to do the same for the billions who will come after.
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Haha ‘rudeness is a male trait’, I don’t think I could have summed it up any better if I tried! You saved me typing up a whole post with that precise statement!
Haha you’re right, often men can be quite selfish creatures!
A slice of humble pie isn’t enough, unless mummy dearest makes it of course🙊🌝.
Haha, thankyouu so much for such an insightful response and a giggle 🤭. Happy Holidays!😁🎄⛄️🎁✨
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Sounds like Chucky needs to have his umbilical cord severed!😂😂 But, some never learn to grow up until Mommies gone, then they wonder why they’re still all alone!😏😏😏
Good article! Manners are very much on the wain…. when you show some manners you’re often looked at like you have a horn growing out of your forehead!!😖😖
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Haha I can’t stop laughing at that first line😂😂. People look at you like you’re from Mars if you have manners, almost like it’s a sign of weakness!😂
Aw thankyou so much for your kindness and for sharing your insight!
Happy Holidays!😁🎄⛄️🎁✨
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You’re very Welcome!
Happy Holidays!😁😊
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Aw thankyouu, you too!!😊🎄⛄️🎁
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Your work is very good. It is easy reading and following your articles. Thanks for being a friend, and following my site.
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Aww thankyouu so much, very glad you enjoyed reading my posts! No need to thank me; likewise!
Happy Holidays!😁🎄⛄️🎁✨
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I always thank kind people for the work that they have done…thank you.
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