Your exterior speaks volumes, but once you reduce the background noise, what does a cappella tell you? Your heart beats to its own drum, only if you listen hard enough.
The first thing you observe about someone is their presentation, outer shell. Whether that be features, hairstyle, scent before even learning their name. The checklist may be far from complete which instigates a lack of interest in a stranger. You and I may conclude that as judgmental, superficial and surface-level but let’s face it, it’s natural human observation. We’re animals, looking to mate but not with anyone; that special someone. So when does your head, heart and soul combine to determine ‘love’?
If our eyes led the way, we’d all be coupled up with models, or our type down to a T. Is that realistic? Finding your soulmate in a minuscule window of opportunity? Honestly, no. Looks are important, intense lifelong attraction is somewhat lustful. But the soul is what connects you through good times and bad, when looks fade and cognitive function declines, what you’re then left with, is love. Without it, you wouldn’t be here.
The most unattractive trait is superficiality. It’s a novelty, not a good one at that. It’s like when your MacBook becomes obsolete, you just trade it in for an upgraded model. Simple. The only reason you’d stick with your original MacBook, would be for the sentiment. Purpose. Memories. What it signifies. But without deeper meaning, you’re replaceable. Hasta la vista; Macintosh 128k – you’re no longer relevant.
You may hear signs of emotional immaturity if they expect their partner to stay the same way throughout their life, weight gain may be an unforeseen dispute or non-negotiable in the wedding vows. I recall hearing a guy say, “If I met you a certain way, if you gained weight and didn’t lose it in ‘x’ amount of time, I’d buy you a gym membership and keep a closer eye on what you’re eating, as I wouldn’t be attracted to someone large.” Sidenote: they weren’t as polite as I’ve just described there.
How I hear that is, you want the best of me, but when I may be going through something and not taking as much notice of my weight, our marriage is automatically on rocky territory? I mean come on that’s not love, that’s a poor, shallow interpretation of love. If I’m in an accident and paralysed, I should just initiate divorce proceedings I’m guessing then? It’s indescribably obscene and illogical, why would you promise forever with a short-term, nonchalant attitude?
I tend to use the analogy, “if I had a twin, what would you do?” What makes me, me? That’s neither a trick or rhetorical question.
When you buy a house: durability, practicality, reliability, longevity and efficiency are some of the many important must-haves before even contemplating investment. A partner is no different.
If you invest in the wrong project, you’ll make a loss in more ways than one. Your partner’s not to blame, as responsibility rests on your shoulders to be your personal life’s surveyor; do your due diligence. After all, your future family will be your most important portfolio withstanding the test of time.
You may want the cookie cutter portrait of marriage and family that lies within the idealistic photo frame, but without self-betterment, reflection and acknowledgment, you’ll find yourself wishing on a star, worlds away from the meteorite you are.
Working on your own self-worth inside, will reflect who you are on the outside without physical alterations or manipulation. Authenticity equates attraction, facade indicates fabrication. You behold your own key before anyone else does.
What do you think? Are we too superficial? Have you experienced premature lack of interest due to superficiality? How did you fall in love? Comment below!
Beauty File 
You make so many great points, Antonia! Reading this had me thinking back to my three divorces. Once the honeymoon is over, reality sets in. I will never put myself in that situation again, the single life has served me very well for many years. Peaceful life!
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I really liked your writing skills and it’s so precise and I could align myself to your thoughts so well
Thanks for wonderful creation
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Aww thankyouu, John! Of course, sometimes reality isn’t such a drastic shift from the honeymoon stage for some couples, but the concept doesn’t suit everyone as the single life can be far more liberating; you don’t need to account to anyone. Freedom is a fabulous thing which I know you appreciate so much!
Thankyouu so much for sharing your perspective!!😊🤍
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You’re welcome, Antonia. I’m used to waking up alone… 😂
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Anyone you’re with should be your biggest champion to help you always to be better – even in way they don’t expect or want.
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This! Your other half should always be your biggest cheerleader. You don’t always have to agree, but there should be a mutual agreement and respect to support one another, especially for your own betterment, in turn it will benefit your partner too.
Thankyouu so much for sharing!😊🤍
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This is true, I don’t think it happens as much as it should…
Always a please 🙂 ❤
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I think being superficial is a human trait. At some point or the other in life there will be experiences which we cannot analyze and go deep into.
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It’s 100% a natural human trait. It’s instinctual. Additionally, we have other senses readily available which sometimes we don’t tap into. If we disable certain senses and not others, we may do ourselves a disservice.
Thankyouu so much for sharing your thoughts, Lakshmi!😊🤍
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hmmm…I was lucky enough to find someone supportive, patient, and solid…where I am just the opposite….looks? Before, there had been some, a coupe, a few I was attracted to, in love, thought so, but turned out to be very much the wrong hand, love, relationship, partnership…a willingness to work, and work together…mesh..for me, that turned out well…not sure there ever was a goal. I look at friends, divorced or seperated, and wonder, what were they looking for, what were they expecting?….it’s not a rose garden, or baby baby where did our love go…..more like love grows where my rosemary goes…
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Aw that’s so wonderful to hear! There are many important aspects that go into committing yourselves to one another, including a joint, continuous effort to learn and listen in order maintain the matrimony. I think many expect a rose-filled garden without any maintenance needed. From roots to bloom, you nurture it daily, no matter the weather or how gloomy it may appear.
Thankyouu so much for sharing your wonderful thoughts, Warren!😊🤍
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Im not sure if I consider myself shallow but a realist. Looks absolutely matter. You don’t approach someone because of their brain made you walk over there, lol! And no one wants to wake up next to an unattractive person everyday 🙄 lol. These are facts and there’s nothing wrong with preference. Looks are the initial attraction but loyalty, intelligence, conversation, witt, and love are what keep you there. Because no matter how attractive you are, no one wants a dummy or someone they don’t connect with at the end of the day. Looks matter but connection is what keeps you there
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Haha of course! I must say, more often than not physical attraction is the last box checked for me as I believed if someone’s honest, reliable and has a good soul, it can make up for the exterior…. Or so I used to think. But as I mature, I’m acknowledging one’s exterior and the beauty that comes with that, which can also lead to a good, honest soul.
After all, life isn’t entirely black and white. And it makes the day seem that bit easier having a good-looking view to look at as you serve your morning brew!
Lastly, taking pride in your appearance can say a lot about one’s character too. Attraction could be in how you hold yourself which is another important component I think many forget! You may look a million bucks but if your attitude is trash, what’s the point?
Thankyouu so much for sharing your insight!!🤗🤍
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No,never….❤️❣️❤️
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