They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend; why wait?
This is the question that many can’t seem to answer. Is there a timeframe on love? No. Is there a timeframe on when the person knows how they feel? Yes. Do some people still carry on in a relationship keeping their true feelings under-wraps, because they’ve become too comfortable? Yes, and I think this is the most common denominator…
Many are in relationships that are stagnant, as no-one has made the next step forward to marriage, which is usually on the man’s shoulders. I don’t believe for a second when a male says, “they’re not sure”. When you read between the lines of what he truly means, it suggests he knows how he feels, but he doesn’t want to hurt you or the relationship to end. How do you not know how you feel about someone?
They say the average male knows his partner is “the one” after seven months of dating. So why hold out for years and years?
Love is an incredibly strong emotion. Some may say the strongest known to man. So how would you be unable to identify if you feel that or not? The term, “more than words” is significant here.
How are you meant to know how someone feels about you if they aren’t showing it in actions like proposing? Sure, they might say words like I love you eternally, and couldn’t see myself with anyone else, but what are words in the grand scheme of things. They might say that one day, then the next they could get up and leave, so how much can you read into words?
I completely get when some say, I don’t want to rush into anything, then regret it and have to divorce afterwards. Who wants a divorce? Nobody. Honestly, if you truly love the person, you shouldn’t even be thinking about negative what-if’s…
Also, if you’re in a relationship where one person believes in marriage and the other doesn’t, that’s a car crash waiting to happen. I can literally see it in slow motion…
How are you meant to compromise on one of the biggest milestones in your life? Explain how we can compromise on commitment? You can meet your partner in the middle regarding some things; BUT THIS ISN’T ONE!
I don’t understand the purpose of some people being together for years and years, then they might get married by the 10 year mark. Is this DECADE DATING?! It’s become quite popular with millennials, and I can’t wrap my head around it.
Usually, in this circumstance they’re basically common-law partners. As they act like a married couple, do everything and more as though they’re married, but then this is the line I’ve heard from others repeatedly. “I don’t see the significance in a piece of paper,”. “It doesn’t define how much we love each other,”… But living together does? Each to their own.
Timescale on when you should be engaged then married? In my opinion, the guy should really know what he wants within the first year. Then from engagement to marriage should be around 1 year. Any longer than 2 years is a huge NO NO! I’ll hesitantly give him a get out of jail free card because we’re in a pandemic, but that’s only for a few extra months!
Nowadays, the timeframe is being stretched out, as sometimes he thinks he has many options due to the freedom this generation think they have to finding someone. Happiness is paramount to people nowadays, and as important as it is, they weigh their relationship against if they’d be happier out of it, then your relationship status changes at the drop of a hat. Relationships usually aren’t on cloud 9 every day, and if it’s on cloud 8 every other day, some revert back to the mindset, I’d be happier out of this and go on this never-ending search of non-stop happiness.
When you have to wake up 5 times a night to attend to a baby, that’s when life gets real and the true meaning of happiness is revealed… in the form of a dirty nappy.
I’d say when it gets to the three year mark, for me it’s like now or never, as then it can easily reach the 5 year mark, then roll onto decade dating without you even blinking.
I’d also say, many times it can depend on you and your partners age. If you starting dating aged 16 or something, it may be best to use the three year max as a timescale. As getting married at 17, especially nowadays can be dubious decision. If you’re both on the other side of 25, I’d say you should really know where one another’s head’s are at, as you don’t have an infinite amount of time in life, especially as a woman, and your baby clock is ticking. So there’s no time to be nonchalant, or the “let’s see where this goes” phrase.
Time goes faster than we think, and if you’re in a solid relationship, you shouldn’t be doubting if a proposal will happen or not. Your cards should be on the table, and if it’s the right person for you, there should be no hesitation in wanting the same goal.
Marriage can be scary, but so can relationships You’ll at least have that commitment as reassurance that you’re both in this together, to move forward in life. Instead of being oblivious to whether you’re coming or going!
What do you think? Have you had any good/bad experiences? Is marriage a must for you? How long would you wait for a proposal? Comment below!
Beauty File 
I love , love this post. my mother told me she married my father after one year of pure dating. They were married for 32 years. Your correct when you said a man know within months if he want to marry. My father told me he knew my mother was the one after five months. I stayed in two relationships 7 years. The 1st. He said no to marriage. The 2nd he said no, but years later he said he regret marrying me. Today at 56, I no longer desire to be married. I am not in a relationship and choose to remain single 💔
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Wow that’s incredible! Aww your parents sound like a love story!
They usually say the man knows quite early and your father definitely did!
I don’t understand how some people say no to marriage, it’s like why are we even in a relationship then?! Sometimes they try and hide their answer for as long as possible, which is quite cruel.
Wow, well as they say, you never know what you’ve had until it’s gone!
That’s amazing! Happiness isn’t measured by whom you’re with, it’s when you’re happy and content with yourself, with or without someone!
Thankyouu for reading and sharing such an eye-opening story!🤗😁
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Interesting post. I was not able to really make that choice back in the day. That then led to a divorce many years later due the resentment of not being able to say no. All of that said… I now have met someone that I love with all of my being. I would ask her to marry me right now today if we were able to be together. It is my intention to ask her at the earliest possible time. I am hoping with all my heart that she will give an enthusiastic YES!
You always have such thought provoking and engaging(🤭) topics!
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Wow! I imagine a lot of marriages that happen early on may have a greater chance of failing. As it’s kind of expected from parents and society (not to much nowadays) and may not be what you truly want inside, you may just be avoiding your truth. But usually it finds its way of haunting you when the resentment towards the person grows.
That’s amazing that it sounds like you’ve finally found your ‘happily ever after’! I’m sure she will say yes!
Thankyouu so much for reading and so glad you’ve enjoyed this post!😁
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I am hoping with all of my being for that YES !! 🤪💗💘💓❤☺🥰😍🔥🔥🔥🔥
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I bet it will be a YESSSSS!😃
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☺💓
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Do you know something I don’t? I’m a mess ya know!🤭😉
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The other thing is… when is the right time??🤔
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You really didn’t explain what’s wrong with just common law partners. What the hell is the significance of a piece of paper? Why does that cement your relationship? I think it’s an excuse for spoiled princess type women to have a big party. A ceremony doesn’t change your relationship at all
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There isn’t anything wrong with common law partners at all. But sometimes one of the parties in the relationship aren’t fully happy with not being married within the eyes of the law. And sometimes outsiders like family and friends can make the parties involved in the relationship feel like being common law partners isn’t enough.
I guess in my mind common law partners wouldn’t work for me as it’d feel like I’m always sitting on the edge. Like my partner has one foot in one foot out. And I think many other people especially females can feel that way as firstly, is only natural. And secondly, if the woman falls pregnant, she might not feel the emotional security if her partner is a ‘common law partner’. As essentially, he would be able to walk away any moment in time, without having to go through any process or upheaval. And that can affect anyone mentally, but especially a pregnant hormonal female.
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Astute observations, Antonia.
I’ve heard some guys, a few of them acquaintances, express reluctance at proposing because, well, what it it ends in rejection?
That uncertainty is fair enough, if you expect the second or third date to end in engagement. In the real world, though, relationships don’t take on a marriage mindset until much further on. By a couple years in, it should be pretty obvious (if still tacit) the woman will say “Yes!” If not, maybe this isn’t the relationship either one of you needs
Recollecting my grandparents (whom I’ve mentioned before), I recall they had been dating a year or so when Pearl Harbor was struck. In one moment, my grandfather enlisted…and proposed. Of course, my grandmother said, “Yes!,” then off to Europe my grandfather went for four years
No matter whether a world war was the best time to get married, my grandparents made it work. It was a great move for them (and, ultimately for me, of course). It endured 72 years of raising a family in the suburbs, then lots of grandchildren and retirement to the beach (Florida).
God, I miss them. A bit off-topic, but it just goes to show us what can be done.
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Thankyouu so much for your insight!
Precisely, what’s the point in dating for a couple years or even a year if you can’t see yourself marrying the person? The relationship already has an expiry date!
Your grandparents sound like very wise people, and that mindset has clearly gone down the generations!😃
Aww how beautiful! If that isn’t a true love story, I don’t know what is!
Thankyouu so much for reading and taking such a lovely trip down memory lane! Truly wonderful!😃😁
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Many are in relationships because of the fear of being alone. And to be honest, from what I see, I can say the best age to have a good and stable relationship, or even get married, is when you are near the forties. All this thing around dating apps and grass is greener syndrome only made it somehow difficult to have a proper relationship.
I loved how you approached this topic.
Have a lovely weekend!
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How very interesting! I imagine for a woman that may want to have children naturally, that might be a bit of a rush for her to hopefully find a stable relationship/marriage, and because she’s in such a rush, she could fall for the wrong one.
I couldn’t agree with you more regarding dating apps and the grass in greener syndrome! That mentality is very apparent in today’s society.
Aww thankyouu so much and so glad you’ve enjoyed reading this post!
Have a lovely weekend to you also!🤗😁
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Eye opener! Wow!
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Oooh! Hopefully a good interesting eye opener!😂👀
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😂 😂 😂
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😉😁
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Great advice here. I reached 35 without so much as a kiss, so I cant even imagine how hard it is when you do love and dont get that special proposal.
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Haha!😂 I don’t know which situation is worse!😂😂🙊
And love is a two way road, if a guy truly loves a woman, he should know automatically when the right time is. Plus he should know if she is the one for him pretty early on!
Thankyouu so much Mason, for making me chuckle😂 and reading this post!😃😊
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My pleasure!
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Why don’t you just both talk to each other about your feelings and your thoughts about the next step and whether this feels like the start of a lifelong relationship? We got engaged 54 years ago and have been married happily (most of the time) for 53 years. My husband never proposed. We just spent a lot of time talking about our love and feelings for each other and hopes for the future and increasingly shared our feelings that we loved each other enough to want to get married, which we did when we were 22 having known each other for 2 years. It wasn’t “happily ever after” all the time. We did have some low times (for various reasons) and occasionally even wondered if we had made a mistake. BUT, we both felt strongly enough that we had made a commitment to each other for life, so we needed to work through the difficulties and move forward together. As a result, we are very happy. I think the key was always talking to each other openly as our feelings and the relationship developed until we both felt it was right to get married.
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I’d say it’s because it’s much more difficult nowadays to find a life long partner. I completely agree where you said you should both talk it out so you know where each others head-spaces are at.
The only issue is that nowadays, the majority of men don’t know where their heads at. And they might say things about the future, but not truly believe them. And many times they almost run away from commitment, as they have the perception that there are so many options out there. And they don’t need to be ‘tied down’.
Your marriage sounds like it’s been through a lot but you’ve come out the other way even stronger. That’s what I imagine marriage is all about.
I wish it were as simple as speaking about the future then it’ll come true.
I’d say how guys are now, even if they say all the right things and you speak about the future together, actions speak louder than words and I probably wouldn’t completely believe them until they showed me with actions.
Thankyouu so much for reading this post!😁😊
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I have a question for you. You being a single woman I am presuming. How do you view marriage after Divorce? Is there any room for marrying again after either person has been divorced? I can’t believe that God would want his children to be alone if they have meet another that fulfills them and makes them happy. I can understand the teaching in the Bible about it. I believe it comes from a place of keeping the community healthy. If there has been infidelity and lost trust is a person supposed to give up all chance at a new love. After all… if one loses there spouse to death there is no stigma attached to remarriage. So why the double standard with divorce? Aren’t people prone to errors in there life? Is there not room for a second chance at happiness? I breathlessly await your response! You always seem to have such deep insite into these matters.
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Haha I’m actually not single, but I probably write like a single female!😂
I think there definitely is room for marrying again after a divorce. Obviously it’s vital to know when dating the reasons as to why the marriage broke down, so that you can understand them and how they move more as a person. If they just walk away everytime things get tough, you’d probably think this is a waste of time!
I also can’t believe once you’ve been married, you should have no serious relationship/marriage again. A marriage breaking down shouldn’t be shameful as it shows you must have at least tried! And you can’t make the other party stay in a marriage they don’t want to be in.
Also, if a partner cheats and you separate from them, you certainly should have another shot at happiness! That’s what life is all about! And that partner you once had, destroyed that happiness for you.
There is no stigma attached to remarriage if you’re a widow, but if I were married and I had a terminal illness, I would loathe the thought of my partner for life, finding another ‘love’ after my death. I can’t fathom the thought, and wouldn’t be one of those people who say, “Be open to finding love,” I’d be like, you supposedly found it already with me!👀😂😂
I think if you truly loved that person and they were the one for you, how are you meant to find another? It’s rare to find a few loves of your life!😂 unless the person’s a ladies man of course!
That was a great question!😃😊
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As you can probably tell…. It has been a long time since I have dated. I’m not even sure my ex-wife and I even dated in the traditional sense. Anyway… that’s a whole different conversation. I have noticed that even when divorced or seperated, some women continue to wear their engagement/wedding bands. Why is that? I know that for my ex-wife she wasted no time in removing hers. Then I see some ladies that I am “friends” with that wear them even though they have never been married that I am aware of. It strikes me odd I guess. Some say it’s to keep from being hit on all the time when in public. I can understand that I guess? But then aren’t they really saying I’m not interested in anyone right now? Women are very confusing for me🤪 But the whole wearing the rings after separation and divorce confuses me. I do agree with you about guys running when things get difficult. I think I count myself as out of that group. I stayed in a marriage for wayyyyyyyyy……. longer than I should have. Even when there were hard times financially and marriage wise. How would you suggest I let my significant other know that I am not a runner? We are separated by many miles currently and with the COVID it is making it most difficult for me to get back to her city.
I really enjoy these back and forth’s with you. Very insightful!😊
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I have a female relative who’s very old school as she’s been brought up in a different time and she always used to wear her wedding band even though her and her husband divorced then eventually he died. And he even had another wife before passing away. Even after all that she still wore her wedding band.
I think sometimes people from a different era think that once they’re married and even if it doesn’t work out, they’re raised to never really take their band off. Unless they remarry. And it’s almost looked down upon if a woman is unmarried.
It’s quite a common occurrence with older women isn’t it?
Older men lose their ring even before the divorce has been finalised I’m sure😂😂.
I can’t understand why females sometimes wear wedding rings when they’ve never been married. To be fair, even when I around 10 I loved wearing those cheap £3 wedding ring sets from certain supermarkets, as I just liked the way they looked!😂
I also imagine some females wear it as it’s expected for you to be married so they just wear it to evade any questions!
I don’t think there’s anything you can say to show your partner that you aren’t a runner, it’s all in your actions, the smallest things she’ll notice and they’ll help her define the type of character you have. Not a runaway!😂
Definitely and Thankyouu for asking!!😃😊
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Thank you for that explanation. I guess that’s the Mars and Venus thing again.🤪 That won’t stop me from trying to figure you ladies out though… hehehe🤭🤭🤭 Have a great rest of your day!
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You too!😃😁
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🙃☺
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Hi, I wanted to share a little story that happened to me oh say a little more than a year ago. See I moved down to near where my girlfriend lives. My intention was to stay as long as I could and still is. Anyway… different story. So, after I got there I was all excited and couldn’t wait to see her, I look back now and kinda laugh at myself and how I was so naive. What I think her real intention was was to test me. Anyway she led me to think (or at least I may have led myself to believe this) that she was in danger of an abusive person in her life and I wanted so badly to get her out of that situation I was going to go search for her as I thought she had left home to protect herself. Well, for about a week I covered 1200 miles and went searching through little town based on clues I deciphered. Anyway, it turns out she hadn’t gone any where! Now when I figured that out I was needless to say, hurt and disappointed in myself for being such a fool. I look back now at say to myself… That Dragon I have totooed over my heart was there to make me think first before I blindly follow my heart into dangerous and hurtful situations. I have considered having it removed as clearly it didn’t do what it was intended to do. And that was to think first then after consideration decide whether to follow the heart where it led. What is your read on how I reacted? Do you think I reacted foolishly and recklessly? Or do you think I acted with love and caring for someone I care a great deal about. I have since let this episode go and put it in the lesson learned file. But I would be interested to hear your opinion. Oh BTW… it included a long discussion with the local police very late at night in a strange town. I had to explain why I thought it was a good idea to go around knocking on peoples door late at night to ask if they had seen her. ahahahahahahahahaha….. I’m still laughing at that one!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 But he was very understanding and let me go with a be more careful and she’s not here so you should go home. Which is what I did. So did I run or not?🙄🤔
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The thought of being in danger from an abusive person I’m sure, couldn’t just come into your mind. So it must’ve been certain things she said that lead you to that conclusion.
Sometimes, women (not all but some) like the feeling of protection from someone they’re dating, especially early on. So I can kind of see why she may have lead you to believe that her surroundings were more severe than what they truly were.
What I don’t get😂 is the extremities of this! You really did feel deeply for this person didn’t you 😂. This is a modern day Romeo and Juliet but more miles on the clock! 1200 in a week, ok Lewis Hamilton!😂
So did she not contact you throughout this week? To say she hadn’t gone anywhere? If I were a guy I’d be fuming😂😂 I must’ve gone to the petrol station like a dozen times, with all sorts of thoughts going around in my head and she’s just at home without a care in the world.😂 If that isn’t torture I don’t know what is!
You’re right, have the dragon removed, as it clearly didn’t work at all!😂
I think you reacted in all the emotions you mentioned above. But I can’t blame you, you must’ve been really in love with her! But wow, if she really was in danger you’d be a hero! You still are, but she was just chilling at home for a week😂.
I’m sure the police still talk about this story to this day!
You didn’t run away from her, you ran to her, at fool force 😂 get it?
I have to give it to you, you’d win the bravery award any day of the week.
I’d still like to know why she didn’t contact you for a week, as this could’ve saved this whole ‘mission impossible’ act😂.
If this is the same lady you want to marry, she has to say yes now! 😂 Your love knows no bounds.
It’s admirable!😱😁
FYI, I’m still speechless
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Well… what can I say?🙄 She is worth the cost of time and effort!
I sure hope she knows I’d walk the World to get to her!❤
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Aww that’s wonderful!! True love!
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