Signs That You’re In Love With Your Best Friend.

I couldn’t be; I wouldn’t be; how ever so wrong of me; let’s cut to the chase. You’ve fallen for your bestie. Let’s understand this together to figure out how an innocent, platonic friendship blossomed into a romantic idea.

Let’s start from the beginning. How did you meet? Did you hit it off straight away? What shared interests did you bond over? Why did you categorise it as friendship instead of a romantic endeavour? When did the transition begin for you, the thought that it could be more? I’ll give you my cynical side:

If you’re heterosexual for example, is a best friend of the opposite gender ever a realistic endeavour? What do you gain from them that you can’t in a male friendship? Emotional maturity? A nurturing side you don’t really get from guys? A girls perspective? I see that, but then if these characteristics are unlocked and shared with your best friend, what role is there for a partner? As all that’s left is a sexual component? What happens if you just don’t click as well or naturally as your bestie? One relationship, then two or three accumulatively don’t work out, the penny may drop that your answer has been closer to home than you thought.

It can be unhealthy, impossible even comparing how one person makes you feel to another. Why did the comparison even exist subconsciously or not? Was I always in love with my best friend without realising? Possibly, but anyone you connect with emotionally has the potential to grow more psychologically. After all, our minds and souls are connected, so the context of besties is when?

There’s generally a level of compatibility. If you were entirely different ends of the spectrum, you wouldn’t even find common ground to share a close friendship with. Given the time, life changes and the right circumstances, your viewpoint of what you’ve established may change, giving you clarity when you least expect it.

Just to set the scene, I recently saw only what I can explain as a declaration of appreciation / deep feelings towards a ‘BFF’ on a birthday, I couldn’t believe my eyes. This has no relation to me – a best friend is a partner in my eyes but that’s just my black and white, fiercely loyal nature!

I’ll just bullet point the important parts.

⁃ I look forward to creating many more memories with you.

-a year closer to growing old and grey together.

-love you always.

Along with many more details, but I’m sure you’ve got the gist. Now this declaration happened when both friends were and are in active relationships, children involved with their partners, but it made me wonder, am I just living on a different planet as I would deem this unacceptable and disrespectful? Equally, I wouldn’t ever date someone with a best friend of the opposite gender so I’ve saved myself unnecessary drama and deliberations.

Let’s put this into perspective. Would a guy ever say to his male best friend, “I look forward to creating many more memories with you; hope you get spoilt rotten; can’t wait to grow old and grey with you; love you always.”?

No they wouldn’t. It’s just not the norm. Such a display of affection is usually associated with a romantic affair and a closeness which can be difficult to manoeuvre in regards to your partner. You’ve laid it all on the line for your best friend, so what’s leftover or reserved just for your partner? Not words, not even emotions as that’s already being attended to. There’s one thing though, sex.

There’s more to love than intimacy. Many think that’s the difference between friendship and your special someone. But that’s where you’re wrong. Love is like an onion, there are many layers to unravel before indulging. So if you’re sharing large pieces of your heart with another, when does emotionally cheating come into play?

I think it’s very important to have clear boundaries at the start of a relationship or clear reservations for what you’re happy accepting and what you’re not. As relationships are complex, ever-changing, living, emotional, mental and physical structures. It’s crucial to equate which dominos you’re stacking before the domino effect comes into play, as it only takes one slight adjustment for everything to topple down. Quit playing games with your heart.

What do you think? Have you experienced complex relationships? When does friendship cross the line? Or do you think the declaration is normal in a friendship? Comment below!