Romance Fraud: Alarming Red Flags To Look Out For!

Falling in love is a magical feeling. Don’t let rose-tinted glasses turn opaque! If he looks, sounds and seems like a gigolo, he probably is one. Let’s spill the tea…

You date, connect over mutual interests and over time fall in love. It’s natural and one of the most beautiful aspects in life. Your last thought would be that your partner could be a scam artist. Shall we fetch the dessert menu on that note?

Once your guard begins to roll down like a car window at a drive-thru, you begin to trust another human being. Scary, but instinctive. You almost create a safe haven that your partner couldn’t hurt you and always have your best interests at heart…. Or this could be the turning point when true motives and motions begin to come into action.

These people are usually professionals. They’ve done it time and time again. Charm, affection, guilt-tripping even manipulation then becomes the norm. It’s gradual, but within a flick of a switch, their master plan changes. 

They dust off the diggers to begin their quest for gold. 

Dating nowadays is very difficult. Many times, you’re not getting to know Suzy or Thomas next door. You’re opening your mind and heart to an unknown entity. Their past, present and future is what you’re told.

Romance fraud is generally misconstrued as being an international scam, engineered behind a computer or laptop in third world countries. Captivating you into believing you’re dating someone you’re not. Not much is spoken about scam artists right before your eyes and why many people could be dating one as we speak. Possibly even married to one!

In my experience, showering of immediate ‘I love you’s’ and flowers is a clear tell tell sign – also known as love bombing. You don’t fall in love within a date or two. But with this tactic, everything doesn’t happen in a moderate timescale, it’s immediate.

Fast forward to a few months down the line. Acknowledgement is dead. Romance is dead. Effort is entirely severed. The one thing that isn’t, is a lust for financial incentives.

I’m naturally very reserved but very intuitive. I’ll see what most don’t. But boy I did not expect what happened next. The senseless, intricately concocted and extremely calculating reality.

You meet the parents, family even. But there’s one thing that’s being hidden, the end goal. You shoot, but ultimately didn’t score.

Trust builds up over time, right? You can usually tell by one’s actions if they’re a trustworthy character or not. 

Take me for example, I love my heated blanket, cuppa tea and family along with many other things but those are my bare essentials on a cold winters day.

The only way you can show these entities that you care, is by buying lavish gifts. Whether that be a car, brand new iPhone, motorbike or helicopter even; that’s their depiction of love. If it’s not one of those luxurious items, it’s not memorable, acknowledged, accepted and simply worthless.

Cards with poetry have no purpose, but if there are chocolates – yes please. As it’s an item no matter how small to gain from.

Your feelings would be secondary to their feelings, wants, desires and overall destination. And you’re the journey to get them there. Excuse me needing a rest every minute, I’m tired from carrying you!

In a westernised society, this is probably the last thing on your mind. But there are some dirty people out there.  

The definition of a scrub by TLC is as follows: 

Now, let’s play a game, but a serious one. As a way to show me that you trust me, “I’ll tell you what – deposit all of your money into my bank account as a sign of trust, now ask yourself how easily would you do that?”

Now this person wasn’t talking about £1 oh no. The figures asked for were too much for my fingers, toes and a whole capital city’s population to count.

If that’s ever a sign of love or trust, I don’t want it. The final nail in the coffin was assigned then, as my eyes are always wide open. Now if they weren’t, the outcome may have been very different.

No one in their right mind would ever hint, or should have the audacity to even mention or ask that of you. It’s immense indoctrination, manipulation and control. Abuse of power which sadly, people fall victim to. Imagine calling your bank and saying “So I transferred x amount of money to x’s bank account as a sign of trust. I didn’t mean it as an actual monetary transaction, can I get it back now?” The phone operator would be speechless.

‘Love’ means different things to everyone. But be very aware there are people looking to extort you in whichever way in the name of ‘love’. There are cults, pyramid schemes, don’t look at this behaviour any differently than what it is.

The mentality is dangerous and shows there are no boundaries. Whether you’re in a bar, on a country walk, on dating apps, or come across each other in everyday life, be very aware that anything is possible. Scam artists can look like the average joe. May even have xyz in their name. But ask yourself, how did they actually get this? Work may not have the same definition to you and I. For some, extorting money is a full time job with prosperous outcomes. Very similar to escorting, but it’s a service you didn’t order or ever buy into.

Don’t let anyone change your outlook on the human race. As trust me, these scams are still a rarity. But just be cautious that these people do prey on victims with good hearts or possibly even those with dependents whose confidence may not be in its entirety and they wish to go to any extent to have a happily ever after. Don’t sell yourself for any dream other than dreams that you want for yourself.

You can love love. It’s a beautiful thing. But don’t love it more than it loves you. After all, love doesn’t cost a thing. Or it shouldn’t, right?

Have you experienced romance fraud? What signs did you spot? Have you experienced manipulative, abusive, narcissistic behaviour? Comment below!