Is Your Partner Mentally and Emotionally Ready For Marriage? Spot the signs!

Red flags, warnings and everything in between. How to pick the right one from a sea of imitators!

I’m sure almost all of us have been there. Marriage may be looming, or your date may be dating with the intent of marriage. What actions should you look out for? The tell-tale signs may be clearer than you think!

I’ve pretty much seen and heard them all. The games, signs, lies, marriage worthy qualities; I’m immune to it. I’ve realised, a way to shortcut this time and energy wasting process and to tell a diamond from glass in a fraction of the time. Say hello to your new best friend, hypotheticals.

I’ll concentrate on guys, for this topic. Naturally, they can be egotistical and superficial. Selling you the dream is their forte. Just remember the receipt is never too far away, check their back pocket! It’s almost like a trade-off, whisper us sweet nothings, tick the husband material boxes and before you know it we’re swept off our feet. Keep the insurance policy, you might just need it when your safety bubble is in jeopardy and reality comes crashing down. Theres no smoke without fire, try to locate the source. He’ll purposefully remove the batteries so the alarm bells don’t trip-off. Light the fire without him even noticing the flint stones in your hands. Hehe.

Hypotheticals work in a vast range of ways. Whether it’s the fourth date or fourth year in, it’s never too late to test him. Earlier is better though, as in this generation time-wasters are disguised as gentlemen. Love should be limitless, entering into a life-long marriage, you should be prepared for anything and everything (except cheating or abuse, non-negotiables). The vows, “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, for sickness and in health,”. They’re not just words, they’re promises. I’m even more cautious about divorcees, as frequently they play the, “it was all her, I did everything I could” card. I’ve never once come across a genuine accountability of possibly “I didn’t treat her well, I was young and not ready”. Not once, in my experience which is very interesting..

Another thing about divorcee’s which automatically raise alarm bells, is that you’ve already made those so-called lifelong promises. What’s happened? Why would that be different with me? A spade’s a spade, especially if he left her, you’re already on the back foot. As this flag commonly reads ‘disingenuous’. The evidence is there, acknowledge it. It’s even more significant if there’s a child involved. It simply means he has the leaving component in him. This is becoming all the more common in today’s society.

Is he still wanting to travel the world, be free of responsibilities? Please don’t sign up to be a travel-buddy, unless you already have that urge to travel. He’s not ready to settle down for a few years yet! When you travel you meet new people, embrace new experiences and cultures. To do this effectively, freedom is best suited. Which realistically means a casual arrangement, even if he gift-wraps the terminology. There’s nothing stopping him from making it official, and travelling as spouses. If he attempts to make ‘lack of finances’ the reason, travelling is higher on his agenda than solidifying a soulmate. That rucksack on his back has more validation and value than you honey. His priorities speak for themselves. Pay attention to this, as ignorance isn’t always bliss.

Entering or even entertaining the thought of marriage, I’m not going to lie, you should be highly malleable. Not change, but have the want to adjust your perspective. Two minds are always tougher than one, no matter the saint they sell themselves to be. You should be prepared for virtually any hypothetical, I reiterate disregarding non-negotiables like cheating or abuse for example. What if my spouse were to change, becoming overweight or paralysed for example. Or after childbirth, your body going through many changes. If the response is, “why ask me that?” “Do you want to be fat?” “I’m not attracted to fat women” – these are all genuine responses I’ve had the displeasure of hearing, I can say in all certainty, they’re not stayers. Even when questioned, but what if that’s your soulmate? The shrug of the shoulders has sealed your fate. You shouldn’t be nonchalant, especially if you claim to want a life-changing commitment like marriage? They’re not in it for the long haul. When the good times are good they’ll be there. When the bad times hit, they’ll be downloading the divorce papers template pdf faster than you can say boo.

From experience, I know I’m a stayer. That can work to your disadvantage especially if your partner isn’t pulling their weight or taking you for granted. But in a way, I’m thankful my heart is so pure. I know what I bring to the table, and my word lasts a lifetime. Be extra cautious and guarded who you trust with your most prized, beating possession. You quickly become aware just how shallow and oblivious, unwilling to self-reflect a large portion of society unfortunately behold. But being able to signify the difference is key to a lifetime of happiness, instead of dilly-dallying uncertain of the response you’ll hear. Bite the bullet, not your tongue.

What do you think? What signs do you look for? Have an experience you’d like to share? Comment below!