What Qualities Do You Look For In A Partner?

Short, tall, beard, no beard, manners, equality, shared political views or are extreme opposites a match made in heaven? What you look for could determine your success, surely?

The dating scene is faced paced, almost out of sight that you’re generally one of two people. You behold a sacred list of traits even Prince Charming can’t live up to, or you’re so beyond exhausted referring to checklist that anyone with a pulse will do at this point. But what are important traits we shouldn’t deter from to find a compatible partner, protecting us from unnecessary heartbreak?

Looks are top on many’s agenda, but it fades in time. Kindness, or is it just initially shown in the honeymoon period then they’ll show their true colours, similar to a chameleon. Is the past important or should you start afresh by not relating to what has been? Is money and status a non-negotiable or does equality relate more to you? Is 50:50 a romance killer or practical? Pro-marriage or overrated concept involving outdated ownership?

Now people can be what some may define as finicky. Good eyebrows, fashion sense or lack of, brown shoes which may give you the immediate “ick”. But are these just signs of immaturity as they don’t reflect your soul, character or heart which is what distinguishes a compatible partner.

We can all have preferences, but should skin tone be one? You may have come across this dubious categorisation already. As you’re essentially judging someone from their ancestral background. I guess it’s equally one’s choice. Let’s say you attend a blind date and they immediately weren’t your type due that reason, is it fair and a right of yours to exercise choice or does it reflect your character? Would you date someone who validated these preferences in their dating experiences or would it raise alarm bells?

Cheating is a delicate subject. If someone has cheated on a past partner will trust be an issue for you believe people change and evolve overtime? Does it permanently taint one’s morals and values or are you able to compartmentalise moving forwards? Cheating is always a red flag, does that ever get diminished?

Already having kids / wanting kids is important to find out in good time they’re unfortunately non-negotiable. Many times if you overlook these preferences, resentment can build detaching yourself from your partner which emphasises an ever-growing gap increasingly difficult to bridge, as your true desire hasn’t been fulfilled. The what if’s and grass in greener outlook can consume your mind whilst time flies by as you feel frozen in time or realising the situation you find yourself in may not be what you want. If there’s one person to be honest to, shouldn’t it be yourself?

We often ignore the warning signs in the quest of finding love. Initially we’re quick to detect pros and cons in a potential partner, but at least few dates in we may become more lenient, in turn making the cut off point ever more distant as premature feelings have mounted the person in question on a pedestal. It’s important but relatably difficult to protect yourself and reserve the decision making process independently and not let other parties emotions or interpretation sway your gut feeling. As the reasons many relationships or marriages fail, relate to the initial unsettling doubts you established to begin with.

After all, all we need is love!

What do you think? What do you look for in a partner? Have you had good dating experiences or bad? Did you enjoy this post? Comment below!