Girl meets boy, then they live platonically ever after. Isn’t that how the story goes?
We’re all entitled to know what we want. Whether that’s in friendships or relationships, we set our own boundaries. What we will tolerate, and what factors are non-negotiable. Men having female friends? I think this is something many females just tolerate. Ask any female if they’d rather a guy with no female friends or a female best friend. I can assure you, they’ll hardly pick the latter, and if they do, I demand a polygraph test!
Are two different sexes, biologically made to be just friends? No. Let me give you an example why.
Let’s give these two people names, purely for illustrative purposes. Brenda and Tom. Brenda’s getting ready for a night out on the town. Makeup and hair done, completing the look with a figure-hugging bodycon dress with stiletto heels. Will Tom not be getting any ideas? Will he not be feeling any type of way? Or will he still be feeling purely platonic towards this friend?
If Tom has a makeover and goes from the boy next door to Leonardo DiCaprio, suited and booted. Is Brenda not even gonna contemplate thinking he’s not bad on they eye? Or, what’s stopping us from being more?
It’s like if you have a boyfriend who’s good friend is Shakira. Are you gonna tell me he never envisions Shakira and himself in a type of way? Has that thought never entered his mind at all? If that’s so, pigs can fly, I’ve just seen one and it’s hips don’t lie! – Inside joke for Shakira fans.
Let me give you another narrative. If everyone else around the world somehow disappeared in thin air, are these two ‘friends’ going to be celibate forever? Probably not.
So why should your partner always have this tag-along possible love interest in their life? Especially when they wish to date? How is that fair on whoever he/she meets?
Personally, I’ve always been against someone I wish to date having female friends. Or if they have them around, I expect them to drop like flies – I have the Raid at hand…
As if a guy had sincere respect for me, he shouldn’t have more than one woman in his life. Excluding his mother. It should be his decision, and in all honesty, if he were a respectable man, he should take that action to cut ties with them if he meets a partner. I understand, what male or female doesn’t have friends of the opposite sex when they’re single? Virtually everyone! But in those initial stages of dating or seeing someone, he should be having a spring clean of his friendship circle.
Some men have a desire to have female friends and will defend their friends to the core. Sometimes they’ll even have their friends back more than they’ll have yours as they’ve known them for longer. You have to look at the situation and think, am I deserving of this? Am I prepared for this guy to have females latched onto him, along with me for the rest of time? Do you really want him crying on another woman’s shoulder whenever something happens? Vice-versa when his female friend is going through something? I have one last instance to refer to.
If there’s one prime example of a male you can look to, it’s usually your father – can’t relate, but I know many can. Look at your mother and father’s relationship and ask yourself, did you ever see your father having female friends? Or even your mother having male friends?
Especially among elders, it’s highly unusual for you to be friends with the opposite sex whilst trying to pursue someone in a romantic sense. So why should you expect any different?
Yes it’s a different generation, but should that make you lower your morals and standards? No.
I for one would rather be single than have a partner with a female best friend or countless females in his phonebook. I’m not going to be another name in your list. Either I’m the only name, or you can find fulfilment in your dozen female friends.
What do you think? Do you believe in having friends of the opposite sex in relationships/marriages? Have you ever had bad experiences? Do you like having friends of the opposite sex? Does it not affect you or your partner? Comment your thoughts and experiences below!