Can Men Have Female Friends?

Girl meets boy, then they live platonically ever after. Isn’t that how the story goes?

We’re all entitled to know what we want. Whether that’s in friendships or relationships, we set our own boundaries. What we will tolerate, and what factors are non-negotiable. Men having female friends? I think this is something many females just tolerate. Ask any female if they’d rather a guy with no female friends or a female best friend. I can assure you, they’ll hardly pick the latter, and if they do, I demand a polygraph test!

Homer Simpson – Polygraph Test

Are two different sexes, biologically made to be just friends? No. Let me give you an example why.

Let’s give these two people names, purely for illustrative purposes. Brenda and Tom. Brenda’s getting ready for a night out on the town. Makeup and hair done, completing the look with a figure-hugging bodycon dress with stiletto heels. Will Tom not be getting any ideas? Will he not be feeling any type of way? Or will he still be feeling purely platonic towards this friend?

That look says a thousand words…

If Tom has a makeover and goes from the boy next door to Leonardo DiCaprio, suited and booted. Is Brenda not even gonna contemplate thinking he’s not bad on they eye? Or, what’s stopping us from being more?

It’s like if you have a boyfriend who’s good friend is Shakira. Are you gonna tell me he never envisions Shakira and himself in a type of way? Has that thought never entered his mind at all? If that’s so, pigs can fly, I’ve just seen one and it’s hips don’t lie! – Inside joke for Shakira fans.

Let me give you another narrative. If everyone else around the world somehow disappeared in thin air, are these two ‘friends’ going to be celibate forever? Probably not.

So why should your partner always have this tag-along possible love interest in their life? Especially when they wish to date? How is that fair on whoever he/she meets?

Personally, I’ve always been against someone I wish to date having female friends. Or if they have them around, I expect them to drop like flies – I have the Raid at hand…

“That Rihanna Raid just won’t let up”. Rihanna Reign? If you know, you know *joke for Rihanna fans*.

As if a guy had sincere respect for me, he shouldn’t have more than one woman in his life. Excluding his mother. It should be his decision, and in all honesty, if he were a respectable man, he should take that action to cut ties with them if he meets a partner. I understand, what male or female doesn’t have friends of the opposite sex when they’re single? Virtually everyone! But in those initial stages of dating or seeing someone, he should be having a spring clean of his friendship circle.

Some men have a desire to have female friends and will defend their friends to the core. Sometimes they’ll even have their friends back more than they’ll have yours as they’ve known them for longer. You have to look at the situation and think, am I deserving of this? Am I prepared for this guy to have females latched onto him, along with me for the rest of time? Do you really want him crying on another woman’s shoulder whenever something happens? Vice-versa when his female friend is going through something? I have one last instance to refer to.

If there’s one prime example of a male you can look to, it’s usually your father – can’t relate, but I know many can. Look at your mother and father’s relationship and ask yourself, did you ever see your father having female friends? Or even your mother having male friends?

Especially among elders, it’s highly unusual for you to be friends with the opposite sex whilst trying to pursue someone in a romantic sense. So why should you expect any different?

Yes it’s a different generation, but should that make you lower your morals and standards? No.

I for one would rather be single than have a partner with a female best friend or countless females in his phonebook. I’m not going to be another name in your list. Either I’m the only name, or you can find fulfilment in your dozen female friends.

Nene Leaks – Click Fingers. Iconic attitude

What do you think? Do you believe in having friends of the opposite sex in relationships/marriages? Have you ever had bad experiences? Do you like having friends of the opposite sex? Does it not affect you or your partner? Comment your thoughts and experiences below!

5 thoughts on “Can Men Have Female Friends?

  1. For many reasons, I like having friends of the opposite sex. We get to know each other in a very different way than I get to know my male friends. I like the closeness that women feel with their friends. I also learn an enormous amount that I can bring to my romantic relationship and ask questions if I need to. Yes, there needs to be boundaries set. Absolutely. And if they are crossed, there must be a serious discussion. I just love women, and not every one of them in a romantic sense.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. That’s so interesting! Yeah for sure there’s nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex especially when you’re single, or in a relationship for some.
      Personally for me though, it’s the feeling of having to please this other woman. When a male expects you to make a good impression, for his female friend. Then, if both myself and a partner have a disagreement, he’ll run off to his female friend and listen to her view of everything. And sometimes it couldn’t be even further than the truth.
      For me, you can never trust someone’s intentions. I’m a very intuitive person, I see minute details and characteristics, way before most do, that’s another reason as to why I couldn’t put myself in a situation involving numerous females surrounding one male.

      My eyes would see everything that he can’t, or chooses not too. I’d tire myself out without trying. 😂

      I’ve noticed a very high percentage of men having females in their friendship circle, several in fact.
      I wonder whether it’s to do with the times, or if that’s how it’s always been! Maybe not so prevalent?

      Thankyouu so much for sharing such an enlightening insight!😃😊

      Like

  2. Very good post, Antonia! Really made me think.
    If I dated someone like you… and we were committed…
    I would have you watch me delete every female on my phone, because I know how much it would turn you on 😁
    The only exceptions I can think of are female business contacts of mine. After all, they help make me money so I could buy you things.
    Also, what needs to be considered are classic double-dating couples where everyone are friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou so much!

      Of course it’s normal to have female colleagues. But it’s when someone goes out of their way to see them out of work, or starts talking about personal topics that have nothing to do with work. That’s when it’s more than business acquaintances you know?
      Classic double-dating couples is more acceptable to me as you’re not going out of your way to see the other person on their own or leaning on them for advice or emotional support, regarding the relationship.

      I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed this post, and Thankyouu so much for sharing your insight!😃😊

      Like

  3. Yes, it is possible, and in my case, it’s a reality.

    In the broadest sense lurk the problems you anticipate. Men and women do flirt; it’s natural and, lacking that dynamic, our species would’ve faded countless millennia ago.

    However, being realistic and respecting boundaries do allow for rich relationships, of varying intensities. Candor is recognizing the flirtatious impulse does exist, not in pretending it doesn’t. Much more important, though, is in acknowledging boundaries and in managing expectations accordingly.

    One of my friends is a woman. She’s unique, in that my other friends are guys, as is my best friend. Nonetheless, she and I have been fiends for years. Of course, it’s helpful she’s married, as our friendship exists within those confines. Similarly, her husband does have a female friend or two, also within those realistic parameters.

    Ultimately, the question of whether cross-sex friendships can exist is not a matter of flirtatiousness,, it’s one of maturity,

    Like

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